I am looking for a Hadith which has known to be a quote of Prophet Mohammad P.B.U.H. It summarizes, teen din se zada sog manana gunah hay. But I can’t find this exact quote with authentication like providing source as Saheeh Bukhari, Daud.. etc.
If any of you know, can you please quote me the exact hadith with proper words, as said by Prophet Mohammad P.B.U.H and tell the source??
JazakAllah in advance 
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.371 Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama
I went to Um Habiba, the wife of Prophet (saws), who said, "I heard the Prophet (saws) saying, 'It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she should mourn) for four months and ten days'."
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
JazakAllah TLK for sharing..
So is it directed to women only?? How about Men??
Men, at least married men are in the constant state of mourning. :(
Ok read this for your clarification
Prophet on the death of his son
"Dear Ibrahim! We can't do anything for you. Divi Ibrahim ne Will can't be changed. Your father's eyes shed tears, and his heart is sad and grieved for your death. However, I will not say anything which may invite the wrath of Allah. If there had not been the true and certain promise of Allah that we too shall come after you, I would have wept more and become more grieved at the separation from you".
Abdur Rahman bin Awf, who belonged to a family of the Ansar, was surprised to see the Prophet shedding tears. He objected to it saying: "You have been restraining us from weeping for the dead. How is it that you are now shedding tears at the death of your son? "
The Prophet replied: "I have never said that you should not weep on the death of your dear ones, because it is a sign of kindness and pity and a person whose heart is not moved for others does not become entitled to the blessings of Allah. I have said that you should not make excessive lamentations on the death of your near ones and neither utter indecent or objectionable words nor tear your dress out of too much grief".
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
^and source??
Source is TLK
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
.
I think Ahadeeth of mourning are for all of us (men n women) , n may b the reason for mentioning women is cuz women r weak in emotions specially in such situations
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
^and source??
Peace Queen,
Here is the source and hadith:
Chain of narraters are: Hasan bin Abdulaziz --> Yahya bin Hasan --> Quraish bin Hayan --> Thabit bin Aslam --> Anas bin Malik
Book Funerals (Al-Janaiz) Hadith No. 390.
Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah's Apostle took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif's house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf said, "O Allah's Apostle, even you are weeping!" He said, "O Ibn 'Auf, this is mercy." Then he wept more and said, "The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation."
I agree that Hadees is valid for both men and women. The hadees only mentioned women , not because they are weak, but because the exception (of mourning because of husband's death) was needed to be mentioned.
Simply put, hadees is saying that one should not mourn for more than three days, except for the woman who is mourning for her husband's death.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
JazakAllah everyone.
Yes TLK, in fact I was thinking too that it should be for both men and women but you know, when we tell someone the exact quotes of Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H. and if they find one percent chance of getting it the way they want to, then they are more interested in the exact wordings.
The reason why I was looking for this Hadith was, a stanza, known to be of Allama Iqbal is floating on FB.
This is the Stanza:
I don’t really know if it belongs to Allama Iqbal or not but the truth is, I am truly agreed with the summary of this stanza. I, therefore, shared it on my wall. There I was told by someone, the am I sure it belongs to Allama Iqbal and I said, not sure but the purpose of sharing it wasn’t because who wrote it, but what is it all about and because that’s similar to my thoughts, I shared it.
There she replied,
Girya Kiya Yaqoob Ne Us Ko Bhi To Toko
Yousuf To Abhi Zinda Hain Yoon Gham Nahi Karte
Adam Ne To Hawa K Liye Peeta Hai Seena
Samjhao Unhen Zindaaon Ka Matam Nahi Karte
Hamza To Shaheedon K Sardar Hain Lekin
Karte Na MUHAMMAD To Chalo Hum Nahi Karte
Baat Hai Bas BUGHZ_E_ALI (as) Ka Hai Ye Chakar
Tum Is Liye SHABEER (as) Ka Matam Nahi Karte
Apna Koi Marta Hai To Rote Ho Tarap Kar
Par Sibte Payambar Ka Kabhi Tum Gham Nahi Karte
Himat Hai To Mehsher Men PAYAMBER Se Ye Kehna
Hum Zinda_O_Jawed Ka Matam Nahi Karte
MOHSIN Ye Riwayat Rahi Hai Roz_E_Awal Se
QATIL Kabhi MAQTOOL Ka MATAM Nahi Karte!
I refrained from going into the details as I respect everyone’s religion/firqa etc… and often this Shia Sunni debate leads to nowhere but unnecessary arguments.
Even then for my sake, I wanted to remind of this Hadith where Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H has clearly refrained us from Mourning for more than 3 days. Crying in heart, by tears, in lower voice, feeling the pain and all this stuff is quite understandable but beating yourself, crying aloud, hurt yourself, bleed yourself, is I don’t think a good thing to do. And as Prophet Mohammad’s P.B.U.H saying, we should stay away from mourning!! Mourning especially where physical torture is involved.
I dint think that we can win a religious argument through poetry :D
But it's not about winning or losing. Shahadat-e-Hussain is probably the darkest moment of the Islamic history. We all get sad when it has been reminded to us.
Having said that, though the Hadees mention that one should not mourn for more than three days, it hardly happens that we don't cry for more than three days once we lose a love one. My cousin's husband got shot in Karachi recently. It has been a month now, but it does not happen that you call her and she does not start crying. The woman is devastated. She is not disobeying the hadees on purpose, but controlling the genuine emotions of sadness is not an easy thing.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
How strange that a lot of things that a particular group do, there is always a hadith against it somewhere. :)
To me such hadith just do not make sense at all. So it is ok for a woman to cry for more than 3 days for her husband. But how long?
Also, if it is ok for a wife then it should be MORE than ok for a mother or a father to weep at the death of their children. Where is hadith for that?
On one hand we are told that Islam is deen e fitrat. But then we are reminded of some ahadith which are totally against what makes us human. How can a family member stop mourning at the death of their loved ones right on the 4th day?
The purpose of all such ahadith is obvious. And regarding that purpose, quoting from above:
Apna Koi Marta Hai To Rote Ho Tarap Kar
Par Sibte Payambar Ka Kabhi Tum Gham Nahi Karte
--
About this 3 day mourning hadith, I wonder if ahle bait stopped mourning for Imam Hussain after 3 days. Did Qasim's mother stopped crying after 3 days after she saw the mutilated body of her son? Should Bano have stopped crying after 3 days after she saw a spear pierced right through Ali Akbar's chest? Should Zainab have stopped crying after seeing her brother's, Hussain's, body torn in pieces and his head on spears? Should Ali Asghar's mother have stopped crying after 3 days after she saw that child struck an arrow in his neck?
Deen e fitrat?
In fact members of Prophet's progeny wept their** whole life** after the events of Kerbala. Not just 3 days. Yes, they **crying for the dead **grandson of Prophet of Islam, who was killed in Kerbala by people who called themselves nothing but Muslims.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
Peace Khoji,
Its not that you cry over loosing your loved one for three days and on the 4th day, you stop crying. TLK, has already mentioned it above and I totally agree with it.
Perhaps, this hadith (according to my understanding) is not about what has been perceived about it. What I understand from it, is, mourn as the real matam or crying aloud. Like, crying loudly or having matam over someone's death who is your loved one is okay for three days...because the feeling is so intense that you can't help mourning. You need the emotions to let go. You need to cry. Cry aloud sometimes. BUT, don't mourn after three days meant, don't cry loudly....don't do matam... don't beat yourself. (Feel free to correct me if anyone feels here to, the observation about this hadith solely depends on my understanding).
As TLK said, his cousin keeps crying even after a month over her husband's death, so that's quite genuine, but I am sure, she may not be reacting the way she might have reacted on the day first or second of her husband's death.
Yes, this poetry and blah blah should not be used as a tool or arguments against any Madahib. It was just a random thing out of a lot of things that I liked and shared.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
Nowhere in that hadith it is mentioned that it is ok to cry out loudly for 3 days. It is just finding a way out to accept this hadith.
Also, the point still remains that if it is ok for a wife to cry out loudly after 3 days for her husband then this should be even more true for a mother to do that. But that hadith does not allow a mother, or for that matter a brother or a sister or a father.
TLK's cousin kept crying because it was natural. But unfortunately she is getting the blame for disobeying the clear hadith by doing so.
No matter how we look at it, it does not make sense.
BUT, there are certain people who say that we should not question. That reason is an enemy of religion. If this is how someone responds then there would be no point making sense of anything. Mutazila lost.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
Please feel free to disagree with following. I however do not see anything impossible or unlikely in it.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/shiagroup/WfrMtCGn0zU/nV35wuS9b1IJ
It is said that he * continued to weep till his eyes were endangered. And whenever he took water to drink, he wept till the tears filled the pot. Someone talked to him about it and he replied: "Why should not I cry, when my father was denied the water which was free to the beasts and animals?”
And never was food brought to him but that he wept, so much so that a servant told him: “May I be your ransom, O Son of the Messenger of Allah! I am afraid that you would die (of this weeping)”. The Imam said: “……Never do I remember the massacre of the children of Fatimah (s.a.) but that tears strangle me.'" *
Bhai sahab, hadees is talking about mourning, not crying. There is a difference. And in case of mourning of a woman for her husband, it’s referring to the period of iddat (40 days).
Aap ko koi cheez samajh naa aai tou pehlay pooch liya karo, har baat pe eitraaz zaroori tou nahi.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
**Bhai sahab, hadees is talking about mourning, not crying. There is a difference. And in case of mourning of a woman for her husband, it's referring to the period of iddat (40 days).
Aap ko koi cheez samajh naa aai tou pehlay pooch liya karo, har baat pe eitraaz zaroori tou nahi.
This.
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
Bhai sahab, hadees is talking about mourning, not crying. There is a difference. And in case of mourning of a woman for her husband, it's referring to the period of iddat (40 days). ... har baat pe eitraaz zaroori tou nahi.
40 days of mourning allowed for a woman. How much mourning is allowed for a mother?
Re: Looking for a Hadith. Please help.
From my understanding wailing and bawling and renting our clothes and losing our senses and harming our bodies is forbidden even at the time of bad news ... Weeping and crying is allowed, remaining in mourning remembrance is allowed anytime all the time, but normal routine life must resume after 3 days ... this means the crying need not be curtailed in the first 3 days, but thereafter crying should be discrete, private and consciously subdued and a limit is drawn to halting routine life ... washing, cleaning, working and the mundane things of regular life must resume after 3 days ... 40 days for iddat as stated earlier by brother TLK.
Also forbidden is ceremonial displays of self-infliction of harm - not only are such people not subduing and consoling themselves - not only are they not recognising the martyr status - those who are not dead but alive - they are using the atmosphere and bloodshed generated endorphins to bring themselves to euphoric states ... taking pleasure out of the set-up ... they are watched by crowds and fuel their egos by being praised for their excessive acts ... these acts are far from mourning ... mourning does not do that to us ...
40 days of mourning allowed for a woman. How much mourning is allowed for a mother?
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yar why the heck are we comparing mothers and wives? Just because more mourning days are recommended for a wife does not make her better or worst than a mother.
And wife’s mourning period constitutes 3 monthly cycles to confirm that she is not pregnant with her deceased husband’s child. It’s more of a logistic issue than an honor to be mourning for forty days.
Bus tum ko behes kerna zaroori hai for no reason at all.