I think title says it all, but to add to that, we all come across people who will either burst out in anger and spill it all out and then back to where they were. If they were your friends, they will remain your friends without ever mentioning that negative moment.
Then there are those who keep throwing sly remarks at you, sarcasm on demand. They may appear to be your friends but you feel that your heart is not there. Every time they talk to you, you feel that value has been taken out of the relationship. I hope you know what I am saying.
I rather be with people who are short tempered but ready to forget/forgive and move on. I just cannot stand sarcasm and undertoned insults.
I dont want undertone and insults as well. I rather take it once only.. make them take it all out and then promise I wont do it agian(if it is my fault) and then continue... I hate this dragging on thing.
I happen to be among the first types but let me tell you, my short temper and just letting it out and not keeping things in my heart has cost me A LOT.
The second kind of people always end up with better relations and always end up being the 'good' guys.
yeah dealing with short-tempered people is a lot more easier because that thing is done and over with in a short time. you may feel bad once but later on it’s compensated really well, by being treated well, pampered and all
with a short temper the only time you have to deal with a negative thing is as long as the topic is going on whereas the sarcasm bit makes you boil every time, even when you’re talking about some khooshi waali baat or just chilling around.
i dislike sarcastic people and try maintaining the distance.
(ps: being short-tempered and forgiving/forgetting is quite an attractive quality in a guy:blush:
I happen to be among the first types but let me tell you, my short temper and just letting it out and not keeping things in my heart has cost me A LOT.
The second kind of people always end up with better relations and always end up being the 'good' guys.
and this is so sad, they are the long term damage to a relationship but because you cannot point out there disservice, you cannot blame them and they continue with their attitude. If you point it out, the typicl response is, oh you are taking it in the wrong way, or where did I say that?
haha sigh..what to do..I have realized though I cant change myself..I have tried so hard to not be so short tempered and say stuff (makes you look really stupid too at times bc feelings can be very very stupid) but nothing works. Worst thing though is it destroys ALL the efforts you have put in to maintain a relation...people will only remember that ONE incidence you yelled at them.
I think title says it all, but to add to that, we all come across people who will either burst out in anger and spill it all out and then back to where they were. If they were your friends, they will remain your friends without ever mentioning that negative moment.
*I know a couple of people like that. They have angry outbursts in public....scream/yell at you....and then go back to chatting with you as if nothing ever happened. No apology either. No lesson learned. I tolerated for a while....and then either maintained a distance or dropped them as a friend altogether. It can bring quite some peace.
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Then there are those who keep throwing sly remarks at you, sarcasm on demand. They may appear to be your friends but you feel that your heart is not there. Every time they talk to you, you feel that value has been taken out of the relationship. I hope you know what I am saying.
*I think there's a difference between snide sarcasm and facetious sarcasm. The latter can add humor to the relationship and sometimes alleviate tension. The former is cutting and if done frequently can destroy the relationship. In fact, even facetiousness.....can hurt especially when the issue demands seriousness. Anything in excess an be damaging. Yes, I know people of the example that you're talking about. Thankfully, not many though.
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I rather be with people who are short tempered but ready to forget/forgive and move on. I just cannot stand sarcasm and undertoned insults.
What u say?
Hmm, short tempered is not good either, IMO. You might feel like you have to walk on eggshells with such people. And if the person is short-tempered to the point that they will go off on you without regard to the situation (public place, formal event, etc)....that can really mess things up. The ability to move on is a good quality. I know I can struggle with that at times. But moving on without apologizing for a serious outburst....that's not right either. Yes, I agree under-toned insults can be enraging. I'll also admit that I've been on the giving side of them....though I try not to do it often. They infuriate us more because the person is being sneaky. At least with a direct confrontation/outburst....you can see the person's intentions, frustrations, and even true colors better. But with snide remarks....it's the underhandedness that is aggravating.
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Also, with short-tempered people.....in that brief heat of the moment.....they might say the worst things that may render a relationship beyond repair.
While I agree that snide remarks are definitely more aggravating......a snide person has to use some intelligence when making such remarks. In a strange way. You know what I mean? It's like a snide person has to put more thought into wording the comment in a way that the insult is veiled but also packs a punch. A snide person might even be waiting for the right time to strike. Like a predator.
Since it requires greater thought/planning.....a snide person has more control over their anger.....compared to a short-tempered person who will just spit anything out without thinking (and which may sometimes be pretty devastating).
I think many of us have made snide remarks at one point or another. But for people who are frequently snide.....they're weak people. They don't have the courage to discuss their anger/frustrations directly, so they resort to sneaky little jabs that may not be as devastating as the short-tempered person.
[QUOTE]
I know a couple of people like that. They have angry outbursts in public....scream/yell at you....and then go back to chatting with you as if nothing ever happened. No apology either. No lesson learned. I tolerated for a while....and then either maintained a distance or dropped them as a friend altogether. It can bring quite some peace.
[/QUOTE]
Now that is an extreme but you know one thing for sure about such people. They are not talking about you behind your back. Those with sly remarks, I am not sure what else they are doing behind my back.
Now that is an extreme but you know one thing for sure about such people. They are not talking about you behind your back. Those with sly remarks, I am not sure what else they are doing behind my back.
Wrong. When I wrote the above quoted bit, two people came to mind (one an extended relative....and another a former friend). Both whom I know will have the angry outburst in public....and will ALSO talk about you behind your back even if they're just venting.
How do I know this?
Well, I've seen the individual have an angry outburst toward another person in public....and the individual also talks negatively about the same person behind his/her back...venting out the frustration even after the angry outburst.
If you don't live with the person and are not around them often, there's no guarantee they don't or won't do that.
O God, I would take their anger, talk about it, DEAL with it and move on.
I hate people who don't have the integrity to stand up for themselves and SAY it. Had to let go of a friend for constant sarcasm and insults. Goood timesss.
I think title says it all, but to add to that, we all come across people who will either burst out in anger and spill it all out and then back to where they were. If they were your friends, they will remain your friends without ever mentioning that negative moment.
Then there are those who keep throwing sly remarks at you, sarcasm on demand. They may appear to be your friends but you feel that your heart is not there. Every time they talk to you, you feel that value has been taken out of the relationship. I hope you know what I am saying.
I rather be with people who are short tempered but ready to forget/forgive and move on. I just cannot stand sarcasm and undertoned insults.
What u say?
Not exactly sureif this fits into your scenario but there have been a few people that, once I talk to them, I feel as if I have done something very wrong, that I should not have said that. I don't think it should be like that with someone you trust and consider a good friend.
And anyways, people who insult you to your face and in such a cunning way that you don't know if its directed at you or not--are just snakes. Better off without them.
Friends ~ you can deal with them, choose to remain with them or drop them when you can’t stand their behaviour but imagine being married to a person in either category. It is really difficult, tiring and irritating when your hubs doesn’t have the control and burst out in anger and spills it all out in front of MIL, children and other family members. It is equally frustrating when you can feel him seething inside and murmuring those low-toned insults whenever you are in the room.
I think the first type described here is a bit of an extreme. I took it as people who say things and discuss them straight up rather than making sarcastic remarks. I find such people very clear-hearted. I think being all reactive and yelling at someone in public etc. is just an extreme and should not be equated with people who speak up about problems and address them right away and apologize if they are wrong. A friend of mine has a bit of an anger problem and he cant even help it, it shows from his face. He tries very hard to not talk when he is angry. A very clear-hearted individual. I would take such a person ANY DAY over someone who pretends to be good from the face while keeps grudges and other crap in his/her heart. Truly malicious snakes.
It is really difficult, tiring and irritating when your hubs doesn’t have the control and burst out in anger and spills it all out in front of MIL, children and other family members. It is equally frustrating when you can feel him seething inside and murmuring those low-toned insults whenever you are in the room.