Re: Long distance relationships
with all this waiting for visa thing, is't it better to just have Nikah first, go back, and then rukhsati (or visa partner coming over) after the visa's been granted?
I think its intimacy that gives you pain when waiting in long distance relation. In short with only the nikah done there would't be as much pain involved for waiting partners in my opinion.
It just happens though and i really do want to fall in love with him esp if im gonna spend the rest of my life with him i’d rather fall in love and miss him then not fall for him 
with all this waiting for visa thing, is't it better to just have Nikah first, go back, and then rukhsati (or visa partner coming over) after the visa's been granted?
I think its intimacy that gives you pain when waiting in long distance relation. In short with only the nikah done there would't be as much pain involved for waiting partners in my opinion.
Depends on the country, your family dynamics and other issues as well. Most countries will want actual evidence that the bride and groom were both present at the nikkah which will mean you have to go to pak anyway - gone are the days of the telephone nikkah (well you still can but be prepared to go through a lengthy appeal process) Secondly, for families that are religious performing a nikkah just to get round immigration issues with the intention of having a grand rukhsati/actual wedding celebrations later isn't an option since in islam the nikkah IS the marriage contract and once entered into, you should live together as husband and wife.
This whole concept of having a nikkah just to make your relationship 'halal' is just an islamic loophole that people use nowadays, but that's a whole other topic and I digress.
Depends on the country, your family dynamics and other issues as well. Most countries will want actual evidence that the bride and groom were both present at the nikkah which will mean you have to go to pak anyway - gone are the days of the telephone nikkah (well you still can but be prepared to go through a lengthy appeal process) Secondly, for families that are religious performing a nikkah just to get round immigration issues with the intention of having a *grand rukhsati/actual wedding celebrations later isn't an option since in islam the nikkah IS the marriage contract and once entered into, you should live together as husband and wife. *
This whole concept of having a nikkah just to make your relationship 'halal' is just an islamic loophole that people use nowadays, but that's a whole other topic and I digress.
Can you provide any hadithes in support of this statment? This is the first time I am hearing this view point- that once you're nikkah is done you have to live together.
I alway thought that nikkah is a marriage contract, and you are now husband and wife-islamically and legally- and how you choose to live, is between the husband and wife. The rukhsati is just a cultural/symbolic thing for fun- sybolizing the girl officially leaving the family to go live in her husband's house. it has come to be associated with the acutal wedding, only because of the effort put into this celebration.
For some people, the nikkah and then having the rikhsati later, is convenient, and to my understanding there is nothing wrong with it. It is convenient when both/either the girl or guy is in school-or can't afford to live together yet-, but like each other and would like to go out together to places, without it being a sin. So they're married just not living together. And when time is right (when they're done with school, etc) they live together.
i personally think it solves a lot of problems. My friend is in school and her husband is lives in another state. She and her husband wanted her to finish school first, so they are now nikkahed, but inshallah when she graduates they will have their rukhsati and she'll move to her husband's place. A win-win solution!
Re: Long distance relationships
No rukhsati is not just a cultural thing.islamically if the girl goes n lives with her husband it should b publically announced n then walima is also an islamic rasm announcing that now they hav spent a night together.
Also the mehr rules for the two situations r diff.So yes islam does differentiate b/w nikkah n rukhsati.From wat i remember Hazrat Ayesha had Nkkah at age 9 but her rukhsti happened at age 11.
No rukhsati is not just a cultural thing.islamically if the girl goes n lives with her husband it should b publically announced n then walima is also an islamic rasm announcing that now they hav spent a night together. Also the mehr rules for the two situations r diff.So yes islam does differentiate b/w nikkah n rukhsati.From wat i remember Hazrat Ayesha had Nkkah at age 9 but her rukhsti happened at age 11.
i see....thx for clarifying
Perhaps what I meant to write was that they SHOULD live together rather than HAVE to. But my views still stand - while it is allowed in islam, the reasons it was bought into place were perfectably understandable. The reasons people opt for a delayed rukhsati nowadays tend to range from the pratical to the absurd…we want to finish our studies first/we can’t afford to live together/we want a big wedding/we want to drag out the wedding festivities some more/we want to get to know one another more 
Essentially what the whole thing has been turned into is nothing more than islamic dating. Desi mentalities are such that situations where breaking a nikkah before rukhsati/consumation has taken place make it less of a big deal than a ‘proper’ divorce.
Re: Long distance relationships
i think sometimes when parents get a good proposal they don't wanna miss but the kids r still not settled they prefer nikkah over long term engagements.also after engagement may boys want to take girls out n conservative families r concerned abt girls repu.So thats why many ppl opt for Nikkah instead of engagement.