LOL Wedding night issue

[diwana]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

@Deeba1234

There are two sides to this.. the wife has rights as well:

This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths). (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084) However, this does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions that the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased, which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.

Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey him as long** as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
**
Allah Most High says:

‘On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear’ (al-Baqarah, 286)

**Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her. If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
**
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one’s spouse before one’s self.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said:

‘None of you can be a true believer until they love for their brother what they love for themselves.’

The importance of this is even greater in a marital relationship.

Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?id=2360

@redvelvet

What if the couple has had an argument…and there hasn’t been any closure and he wants to have sex…should she give in even then? What pleasure would he get from that? One of my married friends (yes, Muslim) once said that it annoys her when her husband desires physical intimacy when she’s still upset about an issue. So, are illness and fatigue the only acceptable reasons. I understand that both parties need to be considerate of one another…but I’d like to be believe that Allah is a lot more understading/merciful…and not so black and white as some people make Him out to be.