For the girls: Would u/ are u living with your in laws?
For guys: Would u want a wife who is ready to live with your parents? would u mind her parents living with u?
Okay there’s a lot of controversy around this topic- personally I think (from unmarried, non engaged girl pt of view) that when/if I do get married I wouldnt mind living with my in-laws.
The way I see it is wouldnt I want my parents to be looked after in the same way, wouldnt guys be thinkin the same thing. and when my mom gets confused and goes onto one of her 'When I’m old ’ speaches we (meaning me and my bro’s and sis) tell her that she could come to our houses, she can alternate- she laughs at this but I dont think it should be a problem for a mother and father to move in with their daughter and son- in- law
Maybe I think that way cos my dadi lives with us, I agree my mum and dadi have on/off times but at the end of the day my mum says that she feels she should look after my dadi after all she is my dad’s mother and she’s always looked after dad.
But then again I know ppl who want nothing to do with their in-laws: I have an aunt who wont see or speak to her in laws and has made her husband go against his mother too. To the extent that her mother-in-law and father-in-law are willing to do anything to see her grandson:teary1:
and then the last situation: We know this lady who infact lives with her daughter and son-in-law and they look after her, she’s been living with them ever since her son moved away and woulndt take his mother in
Right long post, but hey…lets see what everyone thinks about it
hello....every situation is totally diff some people great in laws some have terrible ones...so it really depends on what u have....but even if they are great....no matter what my personal opinion is living w. in laws is NEVER a good idea....because u and ur husband are the most important thing and then a 3rd party joins esp parents its usually in thier nature to either nag, nitpick or tell u what to do and how to live ur life.
i personally do not live w. my parents or my in laws and made it perfectly clear that would never ever happen...and a visit would be like for a month tops if that were to ever happen.
but in the end u wont get the privacy u want, ur mom in law will at some pt tell u to do things her way...ull resent that...it will turn into a drama...whose side will ur hubby be on? etc... etc...this is bound to happen when parents/inlaws move in........everyone blows up sometime and it would be in ur best interest to have that never happen in ur home! good luck and hope u make the right choice for u.
Living with in-laws sometime is not a problems, depending how the person will click with each other or not, and sometime its the 3rd party that will create a conflict with the two.
Some people have great in-laws and some dont.
Living with in-laws sometime is not a problems, depending how the person will click with each other or not, and sometime its the 3rd party that will create a conflict with the two.
Some people have great in-laws and some dont.
Ver true it does really depend on how well u get on with them
Good luck & inshallah you’ll have lots of them so you’ll be able to do all the stuff that you wana do.
I pray you guy have a happy relation with each other.
I guess it really depends on the person--i have been living alone with my kids and all of us are use to us and our space and time and now my in laws along with my dewar are moving in and the thought of 3 adults moving in is even driving me crazy i can't imagine what will happen when they actually arrive--
to make it work everyone has to give a little and sacrifice and when i lived with them before for like 8 years--it was only give and compromise from my end--which obviously tremendously affected me and my relationship with husband.
now i feel like i am about to loose my freedom again--and boy are my MIL nosey--just yesterday i didn't call her and she called me just to ask why didn't you call me were you not home? god do i have to report everything---now she will be here and i will have to like check in and check out--not to mention loosing my comfortable t-shirt and pants to shalwar kameez all day--
^ Yeh what is with pakistani's, u gotta report back tp the entire family before u do anyhing. E.g, I have an Popo who lives 5 minutes away and she expects my mom to always phone her... what's gonna happen in like 24hrs, that is gonna be that exciting!!! ands if she doesnt pick up the phone then its 'Where were u I phoned 10 times' overexaggeration- another problem with pakistani's
I think in this day and age - esp in the west - living with in-laws is not a good idea. Your in-laws could be the nicest people in the world but at the end of the day, they have their way of living and you have your own way of living and this always causes some tension and problems. It's best to just live on your own from the start and maintain a good relationship with your inlaws, rather than live together and let little things cause problems. Just my personal thoughts, but each to their own. If it works for you to live together then I guess its fine. I think I've just seen it go wrong too many times... !
we don't live them right now. But my in-laws are really nice people so if they come over and stay with us I don't think we'll have a lot of issues. You have to give and take when you live with someone even if it's your husband. I am just one of those people who don't make a big deal out of little things so I don't think it would create any issues in our home.
living with in laws is a good thing.
and there are very few women or men who can actually make this work fo everyone nicely.
if you consider someone who you are about to marry, the center of your attention, then, her or his family's welcome attitude will make you, do all you can to make them reasonably happy and happy from your heart.
but, the welcome has to be there.
otherwise, if sincerely wanting to be together, the woman and the man, together must patiently and gradually bring about and make the change of hearts in the in-law families become possible and it is possible.
Yeah ok out of respect, farz, their age and ofcourse the guilt factor of if you are mean to them your children will do the same with you but what about your single 35 year dewar not even a nand cuz eventually she will get married and move away--but yeah dewar who the parents drag with --and yes not a dime pitched in by this brother--infact he works when he desires otherwise sleeps all day--and TV--
the MIL gets annoyed when he does that but she is happy when he works but she doesn't like the fact even with the thought of him pitching in even a dime to the brothers--
she always says what his responsibility on brothers--he just basically sleeps --hello?????? he has been saving rent and food money for like 10 years--i mean if it is a young sibling in college--or high school that's one thing but 35 ---c'mon then my MIL wonders why she has so much trouble finding a suitable girl for him--not to mention "unko professionally educated larki" chaiye for himself. I am in a situation where my in laws are about to move in with me at the end of this month and along with them part of the package the dewar will migrate from one brother's house to others.
and has made her husband go against his mother too.
To the extent that her mother-in-law and father-in-law are willing to do anything to see her grandson:teary1:
