Are there any guppies that have made the decision to be single, forever? Is that even possible for a desi woman to do? If you like marriage is not cut out for you, and would rather not end up ruining another persons life by taking part in marriage just to fulfill a culture custom. By ruining, I mean that you are not going to be able to be the companion they deserve and need.
And lets say the reason to stay single is because you can’t make the marriage choices you want, and so than the only solution is to do the next best thing which is remain single.
Although I like to think that I’m up to date with Pakistani culture and customs, I’m not, so how is a girl who decides to remain single viewed in the desi culture.
What are some other problems or such that come up with remaining single?
This purely a hypothetical situation so I don’t mean to offend anyone.
belle, the fact is, nobody wants to be alone. We are social creatures. I don't think anyone can make the concious decision to be single forever unless one is a nun or a monk. Non-desis may choose not to marry but that doesn't mean they don't have relationships or live-in partners, so for them it's easier to say they're not getting married. If a desi person chooses not to marry - ever, it's probably because of their circumstances preventing them from getting married and not because they don't want to.
It’s sunnah to get married, but it’s farz upon your parents to get you married<<< that’s what my sister kept repeating to my parents everytime they tried to talk to her about a potential rishta, until she found someone and decided it’s farz and tied the knot within 3 months of meeting my bro-in-law.
Belle, bottomline, don’t get married unless and until you want to. And if you do, just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.And the fear of being lonely or being harassed by our society is not one of them. IMHO.
Ahh that was my dream all throughout school and college...was determined to stay single..be self sufficeint, smart career woman, woudl adopt a kid later in life...give him/he plenty of love and just be plain happy.
But nah...forget parents and relatives...even friends, society and the guy next door wil give you a hard time about it. Never had even considered meeting up or "dating" guys until my folks forced the big M (marriage) on me. Some how they think that if you don't get married you'll have illicit relationships coz they feel everyone feels teh need to be loved physically and if you don;t have "a" partner then you'll have MANY partners...so best tie you down to one.
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*if you don't get married you'll have illicit relationships coz they feel everyone feels teh need to be loved physically and if you don;t have "a" partner then you'll have MANY partners...so best tie you down to one.
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So true!!
And it is disgusting and an animalistic choice to have multiple partners.
My Ammi told us about a lady she knew in Pakistan. She did not want to get married but her family pressured her into it. She got married and then divorced soon after, and vowed never to marry again. I'm not sure but I think she "ran away" from her husband. Anyway, there was definately gossip about her, and people felt she should have stayed married, or married someone else, but in the end she was happy with her decision of living with family and never getting married.
I myself have thought about not getting married, for the longest time. I still think that I am capable of remaining single, since I have done it uptil now, but most probably I will get married. If I do marry, it wont be due to a strong desire to do so. I can tell you that people are not very pleased with me when they hear that I dont want to get married, and that I have resisted for so long. I have friends older than me that havent married yet and they grew up in Amreeka. Unfortunately, they are talked about in a not so flattering manner.
I believe that as a cultural concept, staying single is fine, if you can handle the gossip and stuff. I was taught that there is a BIG difference between being alone and being lonely.
But from a religious viewpoint, I think remaining single is one of the worst things we can do. We were given needs and a sex drive , ESPECIALLY us women, and while society has yet to catch up on it, Allah has granted us the liberty to indulge in those needs within marriage. To deny yourself sex and companionship is denying what Allah has given you. Tha'ts why marriage is HIGHLY recommended, so that we won'tever have to stifle our needs. Both of us, men and women, are encouraged to get married as soon as possible, so the chances of us committing zinna decreases.
Of course, not everyone has a sex drive, and that's why marriage is only recommended, and not fard upon us.
It’s not just about sex and sexual frustration It’s about companionship, raising a family, raising your children as Muslims, looking after each other, its a support base, should I go on?
Staying single seems like the easy way out to me at present. I am enjoying the care-free lifestyle. But my only concern is the distant future... would I be lonely in my 60's and beyond?. Would friends and family members with their own families accept me?.
It's very easy to stay single in the country I am in. I can take care of a lot of things for which a desi man usually needs a wife. So, do I really have to get married?. I don't know.
not everyone wants to have kids
you can have a support and companionship from your family (being ur parents if they’re still around or siblings) , and friends
Why do threads always die after i post in them? 
nadia u are just soo coool 
It’s about companionship, raising a family, raising your children as Muslims, looking after each other, its a support base, should I go on?