na iam not
If i get marry i will 100% live with my sas and susar... cause my mom says that by their being at your house there will be barakat at your home... so i would love to live with my sasural...... I will love my sasural iam sure..... cause i dont want my husband to be far from his parents and bro and sis... iam not cruel...:D
i do admit, in ur own home u can do whatever u want, but livin with inlaws, u before u do anything (atleast with me) i haveto consider what the other 4 poeple (excludin my husband) r gonan think or react, i cant jus pickup and go wherever i want, n with the kitchen think, we all cook together so i kinda dont haveany feelng bout that except, my mother in law keeps her house superclean so no matter what, when i clean with her, i do it her way, as for other, ateast for me, outta respect, i try to do things their way, i can keep my room the ay i want, but its juslimited to my room, we r livin with his parents so we have to respect that i guess. AN fayz livin with someone else REQUIRES RESPECT.. really or its just not gonna work.
Attia what about ur parents, sisters and brothers? You think it would b cruel of ur husband to keep u away from ur family? If not then how is it cruel on ur part?
I totally agree with this response. Then again, being the selfish cow that I am, I can say with 100% certainty that NO, I would prefer not to live with the susral. I will live next door though or on the same street. Like Femme has said, I want my space and freedom.
Yeah, awful western concepts … I just love them though. 
I should add that I would love to live with MY OWN parents after I get married. They wouldn’t want it though … 
… they want their space and freedom and even when my brother gets married, they don’t expect him to live here. Then again, he already has his own condo so that isn’t going to be a problem. Gosh, my parents. 
I love 'em.
Like every other girl, I would prefer to live seperate from my inlaws. BUT at the same time, if it so happens I have to live with them, i dont think I would mind it. We put up with our parents dont we???Then why cant we put up with our inlaws??Plus there are a lot of advantages of living in your sasural, in case you are working etc. or after you have kids.
Attia: my mother says the same thing: baroun kay ghar main honay say barkat hoti hai :)
Ira u can get away with so much with your own parents. Be a lazy cow all day and get off scott free! It doesn;t work that way with ur in-laws. But again as matty said the parents can come and live with us but living in the parents house is a big no no. Living with parents ur will is confined to your bedroom and u have to conform with everyone else outside of it. WHen parents live with u the same rule applies to them :D
In South American culture, the parents in their old age live with one of the married daughters. I think we should adopt the system in Pakistan too. It will solve a lot of the problems. Usually mother and daughter get along better than a MIL and DIL.
Laikin in our culture it is considered a taboo to live in your daughter's house.
Totally agree FG. Life would be so much easier!
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*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
Ira u can get away with so much with your own parents. Be a lazy cow all day and get off scott free! It doesn;t work that way with ur in-laws. But again as matty said the parents can come and live with us but living in the parents house is a big no no. Living with parents ur will is confined to your bedroom and u have to conform with everyone else outside of it. WHen parents live with u the same rule applies to them :D
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yaar i know you are right: but at the same time, I think if you get along with your sasural things can be much easier. It doenst always has to be bad, living with your inlaws. My phopos inlaws live with her, and MaashaAllah everyone is happy with her, and I mean literally everyone. I think if you are living in Pak is different than when you live here too. People can be more closed minded over there (some, ofcourse, not all). Ofcourse, living on my own would be awesome but I wont make a big deal out of it if I HAVE to live with inlaws (InshaAllah) ;)
yeah
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Attia what about ur parents, sisters and brothers? You think it would b cruel of ur husband to keep u away from ur family? If not then how is it cruel on ur part?
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Well FF a girl has to leave her parents that is a girls job to do... In every culture this is a rule for a girl to leave parents. and start living with husband and his family...
Do you know how much self-sacrifice it takes to achieve that status in sasural? It's literally putting everyone else before yourself and doing everything their way. Its difficult.
Re: yeah
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*Originally posted by Attia: *
Well FF a girl has to leave her parents that is a girls job to do... In every culture this is a rule for a girl to leave parents. and start living with husband and his family...
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It's time for a revolution!
Things are changing though. Most couples nowadays either start off living seperately from their folks or eventually get their own place after a year or two of living with the in-laws. Sometimes cause there is too much fighting; other times just to build their own home, with the blessing of their in-laws of course. I'm talking about cases I've seen here.
Re: yeah
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Attia: *
Well FF a girl has to leave her parents that is a girls job to do... In every culture this is a rule for a girl to leave parents. and start living with husband and his family...
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JOB??? Compulsion is a more appropriate word. I think majorit yof the girls if given an option would prefer staying close to her own parents or on her own. Half of the jhagras arise due to the girls visits to her parents to begin with!!!
And what you talk about is not a part of every culture just some confused and confusing ones.
i wudnt mind living with them only if they are very very old or are unable to take care of themselves becuz of old age. but as long as they can move their haath paao on their own, there is no way i can live with them. his parents or mine. my parents have already told us that they dont want to live with either of us. they have enough financially mashAllah to last life time.
i know of some families where parents live with their daughters cuz they are very old and daughter is the only child they have. so i guess it depends on the situation.
i always wished i'd live in my susraal,with my dewars n jeths n their wives, and lil kids, and my mother in law and father in law there...i love big happy families and i hate being alone...
there would be a big house and everyone would live together, eat together, get together in the evening for chit chat...share happinesses and sorrows...
that would be a dream :-(
sigh but who knows what's written in my fate...
It depends on what kind of susral, as my inlaws are not interfering and actually quite nice and loving people, I would like to live with them, but it will not be possible as we are abroad and they in Pak. :-(
It's impossible most of the times.I have a few friends who stayed with in laws.And Omg, there were so many problems its impossible.The poor hubby always has to take sides- wife or parents. Impossible!
Then there are some in laws who tend to get along.It all depends on the people involved, no question about it.However, I think even the most 'get along with others' type have problems.Its hard not to have issues come up when living under the same roof.
I dont think I would ever want to live with the susral.I like my own space, my own privacy and all.
Hehe I would love it! I would really enjoy the company cuz I come from a family that hasn't always been together and now that I live alone, I crave the company. I like my future in-laws and I want them to be around. It would be really fun and my future mother in law is awesome. I don't feel like I'll be fighting to get my fiance's attention. Besides, I see mother in law like a mother figure, not a competitor :p Hmm, he doesn't want to live with family though so I guess my decision is made already.
I wouldn't mind but maybe my susral wallahs will :-D