Whenever someone mentions getting married to a cousin or someone from abroad, its always the guy or girl moving to the western country. No doubt there are many opportunities here but if someone is already established in Pakistan, then can the girl not move there?
Basically, many of the people on gupshup are aware of my situation - I am interested in someone and we both like each other very much, he loves me – I’m the typa girl who professes her love after marriage.
I told my mum about all of this, she was happy but just doubtful of history repeating itself which is natural for someone having gone through so much. From what I know, my Saas is a difficult person apparently but I have spoken about this to my Fiancée. The Saas issues is nothing big for me as all of my phuphos are like that and not one of them is worse than my dad so I feel like I can handle it.
The issue is that I don’t want to live in the UK:
- There is no ronak here for one
- Most of my close family/friends are over there and I feel like I have spent far too much of my life away from them.
- I am having difficulty getting employed whereas my Fionce will be able to support me very well there.
- I feel that my dad will never let us live as a couple, there will never be that privacy we want, that independence that I want.
- My dad has already ‘gifted’ me a house to live in with my future spouse ( I don’t want it, don’t like it --call it ego or whatever )
- Now he wants to take out a mortgage on my name ( I feel this will tie me down in the UK for ever)
- The economy isn’t that brilliant, its not the green land anymore.
- I don’t want to have to marry my fiance and then come back and live away from him, look for an 18 grand job, do the paperwork and in all of this be living with my dad.
- I don’t feel like I will miss too much of the UK as I never had much of a chance to see anything so there isn’t anything I will miss if that makes sense.
- I want to adopt the traditional role of a wife ( I feel like I have had enough of being a man, studying - looking for work etc)
- I am certain that if things did go wrong, I would be comfortable in supporting myself.
My fionce knows all this and understands and just wants us to be together and he doesn’t mind where.
I call him my Fiance even though we are not technically engaged yet but its like an un said official thing for me, my mum, him and my dad although he doesn’t know I converse with him.
Anyhow basically my question was, is it really hard to adjust to life in Pakistan? What are the differences, culture differences etc? Anything I should re-consider, think about?
My only worries about relocating there are
- Snakes and other creepy crawlies
- The heat ( I get heat stroke and faint, and have the summer version of SAD)
I’m just asking because I have read this forum top to bottom but you hardly ever see threads of someone moving back home and how that works out and all. So just wanted advice, stories, tips - anything basically.
