Living in Pakistan?

[coffeegirl]

Re: Living in Pakistan?

@X2

1- at what distance does his control end. 100 miles, 500 miles, 1000 miles?
2- regardless of how far she is if her siblings and mom will face wrath..they will face wrath..

This is a really valid point. Distance such as you mention won’t diminish all the control but being in a different country will mean that my father will not be able to use me as his personal secretary and I won’t get tied into any paper work with him which binds me to him forever.

@nr0331

. It all depends on how tolerable you are. Every marriage has it’s ups an downs and to add environment change and pakistan mentality to the mix it’s not the easiest.

You said the other brothers have moved out, are they still involved with the family business? Sadly a lot of families split up when there is business and more than one brother involved.. Consider this? If you intend to be a housewife then you will be spending day and night with your saas, your every move will involve her in some way. Your husband will be busy with his own work. And what about kids? There’s a lot to think about… Just discuss it with your fiancé
You mention heat, Pakistan is HOT. You come out of a cold shower and start sweating immediately. And in the summer there can be hours with no light, do you have a generator and aircon at your house?

The biggest thing is you haven’t been to pakistan for so many years, you have to prepare yourself. If you do have the backup plan of moving back to the uk make sure you talk about this before getting married, will your fiancé be able to leave the business and his fam?
How close are your friends and family? Do they live in the same city in Pakistan?

For me, It all depends on how committed you are, this will effect how you deal with different unpleasant situations.

Also, leaving your overbearing dad is one thing, will you be happy leaving the rest of your family with him?

Not being boastful or anything but I am very tolerant and all I want is respect and happiness. I am not crazy in love as others have suggested, I am just having to grow up at a young age and along with it, if I find love then I will be luckiest girl alive. I am not doubting his love for me, just not sure about love for him yet. Its early days.

I understand that every marriage has its ups and downs and that is why I have low expectations for everything, I am a person who can adjust very easily. I like to keep the peace. Although it has been a while since I was last in Pakistan and I remember the heat and all, I am not British born and lived the first 9-10 years of my live in Pakistan and I have very fond memories and also remember the negatives.

Yes the brother moved out on his wife’s request and they live in the City where the business is situated. One brother handles one side of the business and the younger, the other side. The middle brother turned out a sorry state - his in ability to adjust to his wife led to a divorce and he now resides in the UK nearer to us and doesn’t handle any of the business.

I understand the issues about kids and living with my sass day in and day out, I am thinking about it all very deeply. Nothing is set in stone yet and yes I have consulted him over all this as well.

Yes I know about the hotness of Pakistan, the house that I will be shifting into is air conditioned and there is all the generator things as well. Our own house is not like that at all so I seem to remember the heat more intensely because of that.

I have a few friends close by but most of my friends are not from Pakistan.
I am a big committer, I don’t back away easily and can adjust quite well. Not saying that I can moulded into whatever someone wants but still.

@Mamzie

Its about your priorities! Having lived part of my life abroad, i knew i had the option and means to go back for my further studies however i decided to stay back just because what staying here gives me, out benefits what i would have got from the other option. And this is coming from someone for whom good education is of extreme importance.

Yes when i came back initially there were adjustment issues despite being provided by the best available here. But with time and support you can transit nicely.

Go for it only if you are sure of your priorities! Good-luck.

It sure is! I also study at the moment and everything else seems to fit in nicely. I have an exam during the summer which I have the option of taking in Pakistan and because I study with the OU, I can have study breaks of up to 6 years and then get back to my studies. I am not going to be doing this however there is the option.