Living in Pakistan?

[coffeegirl]

Re: Living in Pakistan?

@S_and_S

You know coffee girl, you should use the time you have here to still sponsor your husband. Can’t you apply now instead of waiting? That way he will have his visas and you’ll have more freedom if you decide to try living there for a while but can always come back with ease.

I wouldn’t know about living in Pakistan but agreed with the people above, don’t runaway just because of your dad. I am not caught up, why is that you have a hard time with him?
Once your a home owner you could rent or sell when your done with it? Maybe things will change when your husband starts living with you and give you a new perspective about where it is that you live. You could also travel easier and start fresh with him where you are.

I didn’t know I could sponsor him at this moment, he isn’t my husband yet. We aren’t even officially engaged yet
Issues with my dad - It’s pretty long and complicated but yes it involves abuse and lots of it towards my mum and anger issues and lots of control.

I am already a home owner but I don’t know the legalities of it, I only signed the papers - officially I think I own a part of the property for some time after which it will be my sisters and her to be husband’s and so on.

@candy_apple

Now let’s compare that with your situation. Is your hubby and his family well-to-do? Because life in Pak is only comfortable for people that actually have money (especially since you plan to be a house wife from the get-go).

The other thing is…I believe you are quite young no? You say you are sick of taking the role of a “man” by studying and looking for a job? How many years of schooling have you already done? How much practical work experience have you actually added to your resume thus far?

What happens if you move to Pak, become a housewife from the get-go, have a few kids and then ALLAH NA KAREY (God Forbid), your husband passes away. Now you are left to raise these kids, support them financially with no resources.

My fiance is well-to-do. He runs the family business and are the richest family in our family. I am young yes, in terms of age…I will be 20 this summer.

I have done the normal route, I am currently doing my 2nd year university from home in Law and finding it so difficult because of lack of schooling environment. By being a man, I also meant ever since I have been old enough to read write… I have been my dad’s personal secretary - doing everything ranging from tax forms to looking after letters, email accounts, bank accounts…you name it …I do it for my dad. My dad is very fussy and sometimes even the night before a major exam..I would be commanded to do so and so letter and would have to spend till the early hours of the morning doing it. If there was an offer or some sort of discount, my dad would basically use my name and get me to sign stuff and receive the discounts etc. I would be sat here forever if I continued

My career path at the moment is to get a basic admin role and climb the path of that into something more official. I have lots of work experience in the admin field withing various school offices, I also volunteered for 6 months at my local CAB where I gathered a load of experience and then within my local council…I did a some work as well. So i have experience in the work field …its just that I have been unlucky in the sense that I have managed to secure temporary work rather than permanent.

Yes I feel I should be ok in that situation because I won’t have my dad breathing down my neck as to what jobs I can do and what I can’t do so there won’t be that fear.

@Paheli00

When was the last time you actually went to Pakistan & for how long?

You seriously think STUDYING = being a man?

You’re having trouble finding employment in the UK…but you really believe that in PAKISTAN you’ll be able to support yourself if anything goes wrong? Could you please explain exactly what led you to so certain that you’ll be able to find a job and support yourself in Pakistan.

So this is a pretend engagement? You dad doesn’t even know you talk to this guy yet you’re already planning on moving to Pakistan after the wedding? Do you see anything wrong with this picture? If you feel this guy is “the one” for you…why don’t you focus on getting officially engaged with blessings fro both families…and THEN concern yourself with where you’ll be living after the wedding.

Last time was 8 years a go and it was for the summer holidays. Don’t remember much about it.
I explained about the being a man part above and include the following points within that:

I also have to be a mom and dad to my younger siblings as my parents always are fighting and never ever talk to each other or are in their healthy minds to teach my sisters about life school etc. Then I have to be a messenger between my parents..you better not do this..you better go and explain this to your mum, you better go and tell your dad this. Most of my life has been like this and I am sick of it now.

No you miss understand me there. I have had my CV checked, my interview skills are up to date. Its not about not being able to find a job. Its about my dad’s screening process, most jobs he won’t agree to so I have to reject interviews and don’t say that I should go to them…I would be dead the next day…life is more valuable to me. The jobs that I have permission to apply to are within my local postal area and there are not a lot of vacancies. I feel if I was able to apply to more jobs within a bigger area..I would have more success. So based on that, I feel supporting myself in Pakistan shouldn’t be a big issue providing I have full freedom.

My dad has said to everyone that we will officially set stuff in stone when we come to Pakistan in the summer. My dad is very chalak. Inside he wants the match very much as my fiance’s brothers lives here and was visiting us last week..my dad in secret asked him to ask his mum to send my fiances rishta to us. His family called up and spoke about us and then my dad goes, we will decide when we come. Now why ask and then say that? Or even what is the need to do this? My mum has no clue about this and my fiance and I were bout stumped about this issue. There is no doubt that my dad wants this, I just haven’t told him that we talk …I have only told my mum.

Oh and thanks for telling me about Nadz, will have a look at her threads