Isn't it illegal for 15 people to live under one roof (yes I actually counted).
lol...probably! Im sure it was a fire hazard!
But to the people who say that its all about the woman, if she is good, everyone will be good.....I dont think thats true. I think everyone has to make equal effort!! Because the woman can be amazing, but if her in-laws are no good, then there are going to be problems. you cant expect one person to make all the effort, and you cant blame one party for everything. Living in a joint family takes a lot of work, and everyone has to treat each other with respect. without respect, there is always going to be problems.
In my opinion, I would prefer not to live with in laws if all my husbands siblings were living there too. If it was just his parents, then it would be ok, because I understand, as their son, he has the responsibility to take care of them. I am going to be getting married next year inshAllah, and my husband is the oldest son, so I already know that one day we will be living with my in-laws, and that is ok with me, but there always needs to be respect from all sides.
when inlaws have the mind set that she is bound to do things for us and it’s her duty , there is no ifs & buts about it & it doesn’t matter what she feels & how we behave with her because she in the end has to respect us & obey us…well this kind of attitude from inlaws does not work for long because one day the bahu gets fed up & she opens her mouth & then inlaws say " haaa hayee tumharay maa baap nay tumko tameez nahi sikhayee ! " and when she asks for a separate living she is termed as CHURIAL then inlaws say “humara beta hum sey cheen rahi hai”
Most of the stories I read on here I usually take with a pinch of salt. I know a few people who's inlaws r real horrors but they have learnt to deal/cope with them why? becoz they r happy with their husbands and their husbands happiness lies in staying with the family. And I can honestly say those inlaws r now happier becoz the daughter inlaw really tried to make things work. If ur husbands horrid then its a different story. but If u r marrying into a joint family then chances r yes u will have to adjust to the way they do things but tht really is a small thing compared to all the other things married life brings to u
I guess the beginning of married life is a bit like when u start a new job role. all eyes r on u and ur every mov is been watched. First impressions matter! so don't have a face like a *** all the time :)
also If u do want to get separate after marriage I think its important to tell this to ur fiance/inlaws b4 the marriage so they can come to a decision and save from the "churail" like name calling afterwards
Most of the stories I read on here I usually take with a pinch of salt. I know a few people who's inlaws r real horrors but they have learnt to deal/cope with them why? becoz they r happy with their husbands and their husbands happiness lies in staying with the family. And I can honestly say those inlaws r now happier becoz the daughter inlaw really tried to make things work. If ur husbands horrid then its a different story. but If u r marrying into a joint family then chances r yes u will have to adjust to the way they do things but tht really is a small thing compared to all the other things married life brings to u
I guess the beginning of married life is a bit like when u start a new job role. all eyes r on u and ur every mov is been watched. First impressions matter! so don't have a face like a *** all the time :)
also If u do want to get separate after marriage I think its important to tell this to ur fiance/inlaws b4 the marriage so they can come to a decision and save from the "churail" like name calling
lol i think you can tell the fiance but inlaws..no no..if you tell them..then i know what will be the 1st respond....shadi howi nahi, aur abhi se hamarai betai ko alag karne ki koshish kar rahi hai...
Most of the stories I read on here I usually take with a pinch of salt. I know a few people who's inlaws r real horrors but they have learnt to deal/cope with them why? becoz they r happy with their husbands and their husbands happiness lies in staying with the family. And I can honestly say those inlaws r now happier becoz the daughter inlaw really tried to make things work. If ur husbands horrid then its a different story. but If u r marrying into a joint family then chances r yes u will have to adjust to the way they do things but tht really is a small thing compared to all the other things married life brings to u
I guess the beginning of married life is a bit like when u start a new job role. all eyes r on u and ur every mov is been watched. First impressions matter! so don't have a face like a *** all the time :)
also If u do want to get separate after marriage I think its important to tell this to ur fiance/inlaws b4 the marriage so they can come to a decision and save from the "churail" like name calling afterwards
^ most of the inlaws and husbands are not so seedhay sadhay. They have the liberty of denying & walking out on their own words because they are larkay walay. No matter how many promises they make before marriage & how much you try to make things clear before you tie the knot , once you are married the ball is in their court and they do as they wish. It really does not matter what has been discussed before.
It does matter becoz those would have been the conditions at the time of the nikah, and if those conditions hadn't been met after the marriage then the wife makes the decision to either stay with the husband or take khula.
As I said b4 if u don't get on with ur husband its a different matter
It does matter becoz those would have been the conditions at the time of the nikah, and if those conditions hadn't been met after the marriage then the wife makes the decision to either stay with the husband or take khula.
As I said b4 if u don't get on with ur husband its a different matter
How many women would actually take khula if their in-laws didnt follow through on their conditions? Im sure most girls would rather put up with it than get the "stigma" of divorce. And divorce is not something to be taken so lightly....it should only be considered in serious cases.
