Living in a joint family in North America

[mizsani]

Re: Living in a joint family in North America

i like option 1 the best…
my inlaws dont have a basement soo #2 doesnt count..
and #3 either.. his older brother has the master bedroom.

@RaniPakistani

Yeah that’s definitely a backup option - to get a house with a fully furnished basement with its own kitchen, living room, etc…but to me that is a temporary option. I wouldn’t like to live underground forever! I’d like to wake up and open my windows and see sunshine!!

I think having two mortgages is a little impractical. I see there being 3 options:

1. Getting our own apartment close to his parents house and then continuing to provide some financial support.
2. Living in a basement apartment in the same house. It’s good because I get my own space and we’re still in the same home, but I wouldn’t want to live in a basement forever.
3. Stay in the upstairs portion, and have the master bedroom with our bathroom etc.

In the case of the last scenario, how do things work in the home? I always wonder who would do the cooking/cleaning etc. I know of a Pakistani couple that lives in the basement of the guy’s parents’ home, and they do their own thing except they go and eat all three meals upstairs. The girl loves it because then she doesn’t have to cook. On the other hand, I know of another joint family where the DIL does alllll the work. I wouldn’t want either scenario. I want to take responsibility in the home and I don’t want my MIL to do everything, but I don’t want to be cleaning up after his parents and siblings either.

The reason that I’m asking these questions is because I don’t have any close friends that live in this situation, so I can’t learn from their experiences as to how to make the joint family work. I’m not fully against living with his family, but I just can’t figure out how to find the balance of me getting my independence and living with his fam. Hmmmm I guess with that in mind the basement apartment is the best option…let’s see what happens..