Re: Living in a joint family in North America
Hey everyone,
The guy I am planning on getting married to in a few years wants to live in a joint family system (he is eldest son, etc). On the other hand, I always wanted to live alone with my hubby because I really want my OWN space. I’d like to decorate and run my house the way I’d like to. Even at home now I often fight with my mother because I like to do things my own way. So I’m hesitant to move into a house with a new mom and have the same old thing. (Although I know my MIL-to-be and I get along very well). But I’m very possessive and I wouldn’t want to share my kitchen with someone else (obsessive, I know).
I guess the compromise would be to get a big enough house where everyone can live and not step on each other’s toes. I know that in many cases in Pakistan, even when you live in a joint family, at least there are multiple portions of the house to live in. So a husband and wife would have their own portion of the house complete with their own living/dining area, kitchen etc. Which is great because then you are still living together but then you have your own personal space to be free in.
But with houses in North American, it’s definitely harder to do so. I don’t want to be relegated to the basement - I want natural light! I would feel awkward being intimate with my husband with his parents/siblings sleeping in the rooms next door. Also when it comes to clothing, I’ve always wanted my own home so that I can dress as casually as I would like to, without having to worry so much about being covered all the time. At home my mother is very strict about how I dress at home with my father and brother there. And I cover myself properly when I go outside too. So the thought of sharing a home with my in-laws and having to be proper in shalwar kameez and dupatta all the time would drive me crazy!!
Do you live in a joint family in North America? How do you make it work? Advice would be greatly appreciated!
im just so wonder wats this culture of living with in-laws then being sad & have fight & misrepect …its all bcuz u live in same place with in-laws…
we have a proverb we say “more far-more freindship”
but in ur case u can live in apartment where in diffrent floor u will live