Re: Living Away for College
Be careful, never rely on random stuff from the internet. Especially, about religion.
It is stupidity to except someone to believe in a piece of text that is surrounded by random ads from some website. Enough garbage is out there.
Living Away for College
^ never ever do. People also have to use their common sense sometimes
Re: Living Away for College
Sometimes is good enough.
Re: Living Away for College
It's not just med schools, I think this applies for all walks of life. If you got into Wharton school of business at UPenn and you live in Kentucky, where there is no comparable business school, are you going to sit at home, in fear of what people will say about your character? This issue obviously doesn't pertain to men, it's ok if they left home for education/work.
Re: Living Away for College
My little cousin that I recently visited is in college, her parents have her at home, she isn’t allowed to go anywhere else for education, and so she is stuck at a sucky college where the opportunities for what she wants to do are minimal. There are some better training areas about 4 hrs away, they wont let her go. Meanwhile their duffer idiotic, trouble-making, son, who they KNOW hacks into computers for fun and actually LET him do it as a kid, is ok to go to another state so he can work in some company’s shipping department as a manager. Between the two, the girl is 100x more smarter, and they’re holding her back, because they feel the religious powerful families they’re friends with will not send rishtas if she leaves home for education.
She is now feeling stuck, because she thinks she isn’t competetive enough to get into med school. 
Re: Living Away for College
Good point. I would really like someone to answer it, if anyone can, like Psyah or LKK??
SK, apart from whether I believe in the quote I text or not, its not good to be that harsh. At least watch out what you are talking about. My quote included the famous hadith about traveling women alone and your words were not good enough to disagree with the quote. Of course, you can disagree… its just about the words I am talking about. I hope you understand.
yes S & S, what I am talking about here is common sense too.
People, use your brains.
Re: Living Away for College
It's not just med schools, I think this applies for all walks of life. If you got into Wharton school of business at UPenn and you live in Kentucky, where there is no comparable business school, are you going to sit at home, in fear of what people will say about your character? This issue obviously doesn't pertain to men, it's ok if they left home for education/work.
I agree it isn't fair, and good riddance to families who expect women to abandon a good education because "log kya kahengey". If the guy's family is that narrow minded that they're suspicious of a woman just because has lived away from home, they're not a good fit for you anyway.
Re: Living Away for College
Now I'm beginning to wonder if that Pakistani girl in UK - Bat for Lashes - her song "Travelling woman" pertains to that hadith.
Re: Living Away for College
I think you know an exceptional number of backwards minded people because clearly there are many desis who do not hold such views.
Re: Living Away for College
There are fake copies of Quran on the internet. There are incorrect translations of the Quran on the internet. There are unauthentic hadith and interpretations on the internet. There are islamic websites funded and operated by non-mulsims. Until and unless you are 110% sure that what you are pasting here is correct, you should refrain from doing so. THis is misguidance. Just by googling a sentence and pasting whatever links you find does not mean they are correct.
Moreover, if there is expectation that one can paste whatever they want and leave it for the reader to use common sense on it is completely wrong.
Re: Living Away for College
I think you know an exceptional number of backwards minded people because clearly there are many desis who do not hold such views.
I think a vast majority of desis hold such views actually. Most girls do not leave their city, or their state, to get education elsewhere. Like someone said here, it's never just education/work that you're doing in another city, you live there, you make friends there, you go out, and you have hobbies, just your family isn't around, so there is always a suspicion that the girl might have been up to something.
Re: Living Away for College
There are fake copies of Quran on the internet. There are incorrect translations of the Quran on the internet. There are unauthentic hadith and interpretations on the internet. There are islamic websites funded and operated by non-mulsims. Until and unless you are 110% sure that what you are pasting here is correct, you should refrain from doing so. THis is misguidance. Just by googling a sentence and pasting whatever links you find does not mean they are correct.
Moreover, if there is expectation that one can paste whatever they want and leave it for the reader to use common sense on it is completely wrong.
You are right SK. But hadith about travelling alone is a famous one and it is not wrong. So first of all, you can not say that the hadith entirely never existed.
Secondly, yes, I recommended to use common sense, based on this hadith. The muftis, the aalims, they have their own points of view too and I know, some of them have interpreted some Quranic Verses and hadith in such a way that they have concluded the deen Islam as a tough one, which isn't true.
Third and the last, dragging this conversation won't be a good idea in the existing thread because its going off-topic. If you may, you can continue it in other thread. The origin of this thread is for the rishta purposes and the OP isn't asking it as a religious perspective. It somehow led to a religious point too obviously, but we should continue with the topic.
I don't intend to prove you wrong or anything like that, of course, you hold your point of view too.. yes, for using words like garbage and all that seemed bit odd when we were talking something about Hadith. If I can't prove it, can you? I will be more than happy to read something about Muslim women can travel without a Mehram, from a religious point of view. Can you please tell me where is it allowed. Believe me bro, its not a challenge. Its just a request, if you could help me to know this aspect better. :)
Re: Living Away for College
In answer of PCG's first post.
During rishta processes, yes, some consider it wrong while others totally ignore it. The worst point is, those who consider it wrong, are mostly not judging it on religious basis. What they suspect about is a woman's character.
In Islam, Bohtaan is one of the biggest sins too & assuming negative about someone's character, sounds to me as a Bohtan too.. the one not said, but judged. There are a plenty of reasons why a girl settles alone for studying purposes and its not only about how independent she is. In other terms, few consider it as "azadaana khayal" ki larki. Which is not right. Unfortunately, that is what Pakistani culture about and thats how most of the people judge.
This doesn't necessarily means that the girls who were never given the permission to leave their house before their marriage for any purposes are 100% a piece of Gem and it should not be problem for them in their rishta processing. People who are stupid, will remain stupid... I have seen people rejecting rishtas on basis of the Complexion, Height, Hair and even the way she walks.
So, basically, yes, don't fear what people say about the "independent" girls. A good character has nothing to do with how the girl was restricted to her home boundaries and how the girls stay in hostels. Bhaagnay waliyan deehaat se bhi bhaag jati hain.
In my opinion, its not a good idea to judge someone this way. Unfortunately, I won't deny the fact, yes, it does create problems in our society.
Re: Living Away for College
I think a vast majority of desis hold such views actually. Most girls do not leave their city, or their state, to get education elsewhere. Like someone said here, it's never just education/work that you're doing in another city, you live there, you make friends there, you go out, and you have hobbies, just your family isn't around, so there is always a suspicion that the girl might have been up to something.
Admittedly I don't know much about the Pakistani desi rishta scene, but in Indian rishtas I've never come across this issue.
Re: Living Away for College
Queen24 thanks for enlightening me I genuinely thought it was not permissible.
Re: Living Away for College
Queen24 thanks for enlightening me I genuinely thought it was not permissible.
its Ok dear :)
Islam is a very easy deen. Its not too tough as it has been pictured. I believe in "Innamal a’malu binniyat" translation, Amal ka darumadaar niyat per hay. There are some issues, when if happen due to different reasons, the dealing with them according to Islam, becomes different.
Eg. Wudu. We need water for wudu. But in some cases, we can do Tamaiyyam.
Namaz. Its more rewarding when prayed in standing position, in some cases, even you can offer it while lying on bed.
A woman in Iddat. If she has really no one to lookafter her family or kids, she can go out in Iddat too for necessity.
Re: Living Away for College
Do you think living away from home in a dorm or apartment for education weighs in negatively against a woman during the rishta process?
no...not at all. stop trying to pull every excuse in the world, for you not being able to find a guy. i understand things might be difficult/its a tough world out there...but seriously....when the time's right and its in your kismat, even if you've had five boyfrnds in the past, you might end up with the greatest hubby in the world.
Re: Living Away for College
The jackasses who will have an issue with it are probably not the type of family someone ought to be marrying into to begin with
no issue if a woman is going somewhere there are no mehram, Esteemed saudi muftis from that land of wisdom and faith have already figured out solutions for that.
Re: Living Away for College
Jesus Christ X2 where do you find these articles?
Re: Living Away for College
Jesus Christ X2 where do you find these articles?
The issue is less with where i find it, but the mockery they hadd haraam mullahs have made our religion.
duffers, jackasses, asshats....where do they crawl out from
their version of islam starts and ends between ppls legs...
are there no bigger issues, are there no societal, community, humankind focus that faith and its 'professionals' should be more interested in..
but its all brimstone and hellfire, balestine, chechniya, other politics and conspiracies, idiotic views on gender roles and lifestyle...
i mean i just wanna tell them..get the hell outta my face or i will show you my faith with this baseball bat chump....tired of these assclowns