over the past few yrs, i’ve noticed that life has become so busy that i rarely ever get to do anything with my family members…my schedule is so screwed up…i have a full course load in univ, and am working 36 hrs/week as well…that doesn’t leave time for much else…
actually everyones schedule @ home is screwed up, but i feel its moreso mine than it is anyone elses, cuz usually when everyone else is free then i’m bz and its rarely the other way around…we hardly ever get to do somethin together as a “family”…we’ve only had one iftaar together as a family so far this ramadan…i dunno whats gonna happen when eid rolls around…
i’ve started feelin disconnected from everyone and everything…i don’t know half the things that are happening at home, i find out about stuff a few weeks after it happens…
sigh
so how do u “make” time with a bz schedule like mine to still be part of the family and not feel disconnected and left out?
oh my goodness... thats exactly how ive been feeling... i feel as though nothings going right and im missing out on whats happening with my family... i mean i see them all the time.. but feel so distant and so withdrawn from everything...
i deferred my studies... just so i could stay at home and u know take care of mama and stuff.. but i think ive grown apart in these past few months than actually reach some sort of connection.... i feel so lousy...
oh just a bit more.... how to actually make up... well i think make most of the time u have together... like even if its only a few minutes.. ask ur mum how her day was.. even if u know the answer.. ask her about things she dones... and same with ur brothers.. ask em how school is and how their friends are... i think even that lil bit makes a difference... or do what i do.. buy presents hhaha
DM, do you dorm or live at home? If you dorm, I can totally understand you not being able to connect as much as you would like to with your family but if you live at home, there is absolutely no excuse. I am a firm believer in MAKING time for those you love. Even with your full class and work schedules, you can try making an hour or two for family members every few days in order to feel like you're still in touch. I have a super busy schedule like yours what with work and classes but I manage my time very well and am able to juggle work, school, family time, friends' time, and my time quite efficiently.
with siblings watch a movie etc or take your sis shopping n with bros do larkon wali things dono what they r or just go out sometimes with them
with parents, sit with them while they are watching tv, maybe stand with ur mom when she is cooking and talk to her or sit with dad when he is watching tv and just talk to him
just go n stand with them and talk when they r doing something
and try to have meals together
maybe go on walks at night with ur mom or dad
it wont be that difficult if u take some time out good luck :k:
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*Originally posted by DeSiMuNdA: *
...i have a full course load in univ, and am working 36 hrs/week as well...that doesn't leave time for much else...
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True. That doesn't leave time for anything whatsoever...hence not a balanced/healthy lifestyle.
May I ask whats the rush? :-)
sadzzz: yea, i should try that, spend whatever lil time i get with whoever whenever instead of wantin to spend sometime with everyone together given that my schedule isn’t the best…so squeeze in whatever i can wherever i can thanx
mehros & irem: i’m workin on the wknds, both days…and also work 2 weekday evenings…not to mention i have school all 5 days…so its a matter of creating time…would luv spending some time with everyone doin anythin…just dunno how to do make time at the moment motto, u already know this
maassiiii…sorry yaar…i miss our chat sessions 2…heh now u know why i can’t talk much anymore…not that i used to talk a lot b4
sweetpie: good for u if u can juggle that…can u tell me ur secret plz…so i can get some idea how to do that myself…how do u manage to squeeze out an hr or two every few days
BoSS: i can’t quit work, and can’t quit school either gotta finish my degree…itni aahista aahista ho rahi hay…just tired of being in school for so long…
zain: i’m glad u didn’t i hope no one ever has these problems…
aw. Try not to feel too bad about it, i’m sure when you DO have free time, you spend it with them. i am sure most of us have crazy schedules like that. Speaking of family iftars, my family has had a grand total of one so far (which i eventually ended up missing). So don’t feel too bad about it, or worse, blame yourself for it. We all feel guilty for not spending enough time with everyone. i know so well what you mean about finding out things weeks later, that happens with me to the point that now i’m not even surprised if i’m the last one to find out anything in my family. i like Irem’s suggestion of taking a walk at night with your parents… although you are probably too tired to even think about walking outside (especially in our comfy November subzero temperatures), but still - give it a try at least once a night, maybe on the day when you only have classes, not work… that way you won’t feel TOO tired.
hmm sigh i don’t know what else to suggest. Maybe, when you take your Ammi out for grocery shopping, subsequent to the shopping, take out 15 minutes and head to the nearest coffee place or something and both of you try to sit down over a hot choco or something… Sounds too weird, eh, but if that’s what it takes to spend time with your family members inbetween a hectic schedule - then go for it by all means.
When i was a kid, i remember looong afternoons in the UAE when it seemed like the day would NEVER end. It felt like the afternoon just dragged into the evening, and the evening dragged into the night. It felt like there was more than enough time to do everything. Ab tau, since moving to Canada, forget the days speeding past, it feels like the years are flying by as well. At least you have the desire in you to want to spend more time with your family members
^ hey nadia… i like ur taking a walk suggestion… i usually do that with my mama when i feel its just been too long since ive had time alone with her… its nice cus she usually says yes no matter what time it is
heeeyyyy Sadzzz Thanks… i LOOVE taking walks; it works wonders for me. Clears my mind up. It’s great that you take walks with your mom, i think. :k: To be honest, i think the last time i had a family walk was probably in August
thanx for the replies guys! while i’m @ it, i should say that this thread should serve a reminder to everyone to spend time with their families whenever they can
nadia: yea, u hit the nail on the head…usually by the time i get home, i’m pretty tired to do anythin…not to mention that almost everyone is asleep newayz, unless one of my bros is up studyin or my dads workin late…i can definitly try doin that on one of the days that i don’t have evenin classes or work so i’ll try doin that
DM, how do I juggle and still manage to squeeze out time for loved ones? Easy...sleep late...use the extra time to study, use down time between work to call your friends up and schedule outing or whatnot...little stuff like that can help scrape up extra time for you to be with your family.
Awwww…poor thing!!!Yaar, I cant really give you mashwaras since I live away from family and barely get time to talk to them either. But I make the most of it. I make sure to remind my bro and sis that I am there for them when they need me and talk to ammi abbu everyday on the phone ,sometimes more than once a day. This is my way of keeping in touch with them. Everyone else here gave you great advice and dont worry, this time will pass InshaAllah. Just take advantage of hoowever much time you get to spend with them and InshaAllah, all this mehnat wil be worthwhile at the end, when you are done with school etc.
Good luck.
Hmm, some tips that I can offer you are to maybe get up a bit earlier and hang out with your family at sehri time. Yes, everyone is dead tired-but I think it's a great time to catch up with your family.
Another way to stay connected is to call home if you're out and just "check in" and see what's going on---at the same time you can share what you're doing etc..
now u know why i can’t talk much anymore…not that i used to talk a lot b4 
aw. Try not to feel too bad about it, i’m sure when you DO have free time, you spend it with them. i am sure most of us have crazy schedules like that. Speaking of family iftars, my family has had a grand total of one so far (which i eventually ended up missing). So don’t feel too bad about it, or worse, blame yourself for it. We all feel guilty for not spending enough time with everyone. i know so well what you mean about finding out things weeks later, that happens with me to the point that now i’m not even surprised if i’m the last one to find out anything in my family. 
i like ur taking a walk suggestion… i usually do that with my mama when i feel its just been too long since ive had time alone with her… its nice cus she usually says yes no matter what time it is 