Twenty20 international, Old Trafford:
LIVE TEXT COMMENTARY (all times BST)
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By Pranav Soneji
Anon, text 81111: “Colly probably used a double-headed coin borrowed from Del Boy Trotter.” **1426: ** A few new names to get acquainted with in the Australian side, including wicketkeeper Tim Paine, nicknamed “Kid”. Having just seen a picture of the Tasmanian, he looks like he should be playing with toy cars in a sandbox. Guess which one of the Aussies has the moniker “Dirk” **1422: ** Them Aussies lead 2-1 in the Twenty20 stakes against England. Their last meeting was at the inaugural World Twenty20 in South Africa in 2007, a match which Australia comfortably won. However, the tourists have lost the last five of their Twenty20 internationals, so theoretically, they are about as good as the Walton-on-the-Naze Retired Milkman’s Fifth XI right now. Theoretically. **1418: ** Sharp emails from Mark and Tim, who have very kindly pointed out that if the coin lands on the Queen’s head, then Clarkey called correctly. There’s just no trap door for a text commentator… Meanwhile, Jobby Jobson is not happy about Adil Rashid’s exclusion from the starting XI. “When will England realise that you need two spinners in T20” he rants. “Even South Africa drop some of the best pace bowlers in the world for Roelof van der Merwe and Johan Botha in this format.”**1414: ** Typical late August Bank Holiday weekend weather fare at Old Trafford, Paul Collingwood is expecting a shower at some stage. Anyone bought a drink for the any of the Ashes winners in the last week If yes, any decent reaction Come on, which one of you ran off with Jimmy Anderson’s phone.
**1410: ** Kent’s Joe Denly will open the batting for England alongside Ravi Bopara. Meanwhile, Dirk Nannes, the World Cup-skiing, saxophone-playing, Japanese-speaking left-arm seamer who was part of the Netherlands’ shock World Twenty20 win at Lord’s in June, is included in the Australian line-up alongside the speedy Brett Lee and Mitchell Johnson. Delhi Daredevils and Indian smasher Virender Sehwag rates Nannes as the fastest bowler he has ever faced.
**1405: **Match referee Ranjan Madugalle tosses the coin and Michael Clarke calls tails, only to land on the Queen’s head. Paul Collingwood opts to bowl first on what looks like a flat Old Trafford deck, so we could be in for some top-notch boundary plundering. The teams are as follows: England: Paul Collingwood (captain), Ravi Bopara, Joe Denly, Matt Prior (wk), Jonathan Trott, Owais Shah, Luke Wright, Stuart Broad, Graeme Swann, Ryan Sidebottom, James Anderson.
Australia: Michael Clarke (capt), Tim Paine (wk), Nathan Hauritz, David Hussey, Mitchell Johnson, Brett Lee, Dirk Nannes, Adam Voges, David Warner, Shane Watson, Cameron White.
Graeme Swann at Old Trafford on Twitter:](http://twitter.com/swannyg66)“Watching the Gooners and Man U warm up, very similar to our warm ups, only our three touch footy is a much more rustic version of the game…”
**1358: **Like me, I imagine there is a small urn-shaped hole in your lives since the conclusion of the Ashes series last week and not even a glut of Twenty20 and one-day action will quite fill the void. And don’t even start with that X-Factor nonsense - unless Graeme Swann turns up with his band Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations. Share your lack of five-day cricket misery via the TMS inbox, text 81111 (with the word CRICKET before your message) or use the 606 website (link above).
**1353: **Hmmmm, anyone else get the feeling that this two-match Twenty20 series is a bit like seeing Joe “Shaddup You Face” Dolce walk on stage after watching an epic four-hour, sweat-dripping, gong-burning, solo-twiddling Led Zeppelin romp