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By Caroline Cheese

2022: Albert Riera drives in the cross from the left, finding an unmarked Steven Gerrard - but the skipper glances the header wide. Shakhtar coming back into it against Fulham after that shaky start. 2020: Re 2013: Yes, texters, they might be the fifth and sixth officials. Unless, like me, you call call the fourth official the sixth official. 2019: Fabio Aurelio beats the wall but is about two yards wide with a free-kick from about 25 yards. 2015: Dirk Kuyt drags a shot across the face of goal for Liverpool. A decent-ish start for the hosts, up against a team who have parked the bus.2013: Mohamed al Fayed will be fuming. There’s a man in a tracksuit by each goal-line. Yes, people who are new to the Europa League, they’re the fourth and fifth officials.

Fulham goal: Sizzling start for Fulham against, let’s not forget, the defending champions. Danny Murphy plays the ball forward for Bobby Zamora, who touches it on brilliantly for Zoltan Gera to squeeze a shot under the body of Andriy Pyatov.2007: GOALFLASH Fulham 1-0 Shakhtar Donetsk (Gera)**2006: Shakhtar might be the holders, but they clearly haven’t heard of Brede Hangeland. The giant Fulham defender is twice allowed free headers from corners, his first forcing a fine tip over from Andriy Pyatov and the second blocked by a defender. All inside the first minute.2005: Liverpool up and at 'em straight away, Dirk Kuyt sliding a ball through for Steven Gerrard, whose shot is pushed around the post by Unirea keeper Giedrius Arlauskis.2005: And they’re off at Anfield… and Craven Cottage.2003: Now, in case you’re unfamiliar with the Europa League, this is the last 32. They’ve already made the draw for the last 16. Should Everton win, they’ll face Atletico Madrid/Galatasaray. Should Liverpool win, they’ll face Lille/Fenerbahce. Should Fulham win, they’ll face Ajax/Juventus.1959: Rangers, of course, know much more than they’d like to about Unirea Urziceni. Walter Smith’s side were royally thumped 4-1 by the Romanian side in Champions League Group G. The Wolves of Baragan also beat Sevilla as they finished with eight points, one more than Liverpool. I just wrote that because I really don’t like Liverpool (see previous text).Fulham boss Roy Hodgson: "Tonight we go one step further than we’ve been before in this tournament by playing the holders. They have a lot of very good players on a very big budget and they have dominated their league as a result. I don’t know whether it helps them or us that they haven’t played recently because their season has finished - we’ll know by the end."From anon via text: "Wow, we haven’t kicked off yet and already it’s pretty clear you REALLY don’t like Liverpool do you Caroline! Heaven forbid if we’re not 3-0 before half time."From FourFourTwo blogger NMTB on Twitter:](http://twitter.com/_NMTB_)"Re 1937: Aghahowa is missing because he isn’t in Shakhtar’s Europa League squad. He was replaced by their new signing Douglas Costa."From Urchin D, via text: "Re 1939: I have been chucked out of a shop for trying to steal a tracksuit, in a tracksuit. Does that count Come on you Reds."Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez: "I’ve told the players, the atmosphere depends on us, if we work hard and play at a high tempo. They don’t concede too many goals so I don’t see an easy game, we won’t score a lot of goals, I hope I’m wrong!"1942: In case you missed the news, Dan Petrescu hopped it from Unirea during the Romanian season’s winter break to join Russian side Kuban Krasnodar. In his place comes Roni Levy, who was manager of Maccabi Haifa when they lost a tight game 2-1 at Anfield in the 2006 Champs League qualifying round.From Farrell, a very excited Fulham fan, via text: "Still cannot believe we are in the last 32 of the Europa League, to be in the same round as regular Champions League teams such as Liverpool, Ajax, Shakhtar, Juventus, etc, is nothing short of unbelievable… I still think we will probably lose tonight, but enjoying the experience. The Cottage tonight is going to be rocking."From The Kid from Fuenlabrada on 606:](http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A63503264s_fromedit=1&s_type=15&s_sport=football)"Shakhtar are a very good side. There are plenty of good teams in this competition and Liverpool, Everton, and Fulham fans have no reason to be arrogant or overconfident."1939: Have you ever been chucked out of a shop because you were wearing a tracksuit Why not let me know on 81111 (UK) or +44 7786200666 (world) or get on606](http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A63503264s_fromedit=1&s_type=15&s_sport=football)orTwitter.**](http://twitter.com/carolinecheese)1937: TEAM NEWS Fulham v Shakhtar Donetsk
Fulham boss Roy Hodgson makes two changes from the side that thrashed Notts County in the FA Cup, with Stephen Kelly in for the ineligible Nicky Shorey and fit-again Zoltan Gera returning at the expense of David Elm. Holders Shakhtar are missing influential forward Julius Aghahowa, but influential Brazilians Fernandinho, Willian and Rodrigues Jadson all start.1933: TEAM NEWS Liverpool v Unirea Urziceni
Jamie Carragher shakes off a groin injury and starts for Liverpool, who make three changes from the side that lost to Arsenal in the Premier League last week. Fabiano Aurelio comes in for Emiliano Insua in defence while, in midfield, Alberto Aquilani is in for Leiva Lucas after recovering from an illness and Albert Riera replaces Rodriguez Maxi, who is ineligible. Unirea Urziceni, as expected, play just Marius Bilasco up front in manager Roni Levy’s first game in charge.1930: TEAMS Fulham v Shakhtar Donetsk
Fulham: Schwarzer, Baird, Hughes, Hangeland, Kelly, Davies, Etuhu, Murphy, Duff, Gera, Zamora. Subs: Zuberbuhler, Nevland, Riise, Smalling, Greening, Elm, Marsh-Brown.
Shakhtar Donetsk: Pyatov, Srna, Kucher, Rakitskiy, Rat, Ilsinho, Hubschman, Fernandinho, Willian, Jadson, Luiz Adriano. Subs: Khudzamov, Lewandowski, Gai, Douglas Costa, Gladkyy, Kravchenko, Ischenko.1927: Meanwhile, at the Cottage they call Craven, Fulham entertain defending champions Shakhtar Donetsk. This game has been overshadowed by the Pitmen (as I prefer to call them) being turfed out of Harrods (officially because the shop was “too busy”, unofficially because the Pitmen were wearing tracksuits). The Ukrainian club posted the following on their official website: "The players decided to increase the earnings of one of London’s reputable shops - Harrods. The footballers, who have money and are eager to buy a lot, were certain to leave a big sum. You may be surprised but the Pitmen weren’t allowed to enter the shop. The staff said that the group of customers was too big and suspicious. All of them were wearing similar tracksuits. The players explained this was the football team and were not in the habit of taking tuxedos to the training camp to go shopping. But those explanations were fruitless."1924: TEAMS Liverpool v Unirea Urziceni
Liverpool: Reina, Carragher, Skrtel, Agger, Aurelio, Mascherano, Aquilani, Kuyt, Gerrard, Riera, Ngog. Subs: Cavalieri, Kyrgiakos, Babel, Lucas, Insua, Degen, Pacheco.
Unirea Urziceni: Arlauskis, Maftei, Galamaz, Bruno Fernandes, Brandan, Paraschiv, Onofras, Paduretu, Apostol, Frunza, Bilasco. Subs: Tudor, Mehmedovic, Rusescu, Nicu, Vilana, Marinescu, Bordeanu.1922: Does Rafa not understand that having watched Milan-Man U and Porto-Arsenal on successive nights, the ball being in both boxes all the time is the very least I expect Hang on, the ball being in both boxes all the time… Um…
1919:
Liverpool’s reward for coming third in their Champions League group is a tie against Romanian champions Unirea Urziceni - or The Wolves of Baragan, as I prefer to call them. I’ll hand over to Rafa Benitez for the BIG build-up: "The problem with Unirea is that they are defensively good, they play on the counter and so it will not be open, not a game you enjoy watching, with the ball in both boxes all the time."1915: “Anyone who underestimates the Europa League is not for me.” No, no, dear people who are bored enough to bother reading these intros, those are not my words, they are from the mouth of Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard. And who are we to argue