- The Lost Purse
A lady lost her purse in a bustling department store. She searched everywhere she had visited, but just couldn’t find it.
Finally, Little Johnny approached her and asked, “Ma’am, is this your purse?”
Jubilantly, she grabbed the purse and cried, “Yes! Yes, it is! Thank you so much!”
Then she looked inside and was suddenly confused. “But how strange… when I lost it, I had only a hundred dollar bill, but now I have five twenties!”
Our Little Johnny replied: “That’s because the last time I returned a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward!”
- Suspense
Johnny asked his classmate “Do you know how to keep a foolish person in suspense.”
“No, you tell me.”“I ll tell you some other day.”
- Haircut
A man entered a barbershop alongwith Little Johnny. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
“Im goin to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I`ll be back in a few minutes.”
When the boys haircut was completed and the man still hadnt returned, the barber said, “Looks like your dad`s forgotten all about you.”
"That wasnt my daddy," said Little Johnny. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, Come on, son, we`re gonna get a free haircut!
- Discussion
A stranger, who was seated next to Little Johnnie on the plane, turned to him and said: “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
Little Johnnie, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger: “What would you like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said Little Johnnie. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a goat all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a goat excretes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said Little Johnnie, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know sh*t?”