Little Johnny's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, "And what does your father do?"
"Oh, he's a magician," replied Johnny.
"Really? And what's his best trick?"
"His best trick is sawing people in half."
"Wonderful!" exclaimed the teacher. "Tell me, are there any more children in your family?"
"Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters."
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Little Johnny's house is packed with relatives for Christmas dinner.
Grandpa calls over 6 year old Little Johnny and starts asking about school, girlfriends and other stuff he can think of.
After a while, grandpa notices that Little Johnny is losing interest in the conversation, so he pulls out two bills from his wallet to see if he can keep him interested. A ten and a twenty dollar bill. He shows both bills to Little Johnny and tells him that he can keep any one he chooses.
Little Johnny reaches over and grabs the ten dollar bill.
Grandpa, pretty surprised and upset about the unwise decision his grandchild made, pulls out another ten dollar bill to see if it was a mistake. Again he tells Little Johnny to take one of the bills and keep it.
Little Johnny grabs the other ten.
Grandpa again is surprised and upset. He takes Little Johnny over to one of the uncles and shows him how dumb Little Johnny is in choosing the ten over the twenty. Grandpa goes on and on showing every uncle and cousin and each time Little Johnny chooses the ten over the twenty.
Grandpa finally shows the stunt to his Daddy. Little Johnny's Daddy is quite surprised, but doesn't pay too much attention at the moment.
A few hours later, Daddy who is very concerned about Little Johnny's poor decision, walks up to him and asks him if he knows the difference between a ten dollar bill and a twenty.
"Of course," answers Little Johnny.
"So why did you always choose the ten over the twenty," asks Dad.
Little Johnny, with a wide smile answers, "Well Dad, if I would have chosen the first twenty dollar bill, do you think grandpa would have played the game fifteen more times?" :@:
kool
good ones
