Little Johnny asks an expecting woman: “What is in your tummy ?”
“My baby!”
“Do you love him!”
“You betcha!”
“Why did you eat him then?”
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do and all the kids are restless. The teacher says, “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.” Little Johnny says to himself, “Good, I want to get outta here I’m smart and will answer the question”. The teacher asked, "Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Joya said, “Abraham Lincoln”. The teacher said, “That’s right Joya. You can go”. Johnny was MAD. The teacher asked, “Who said, ‘I Have a Dream’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, “Martin Luther King”. The teacher said, “That’s right Mary. You can go”.
Johnny was even MADDER than before. The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Marol said, “John Kennedy”. The teacher said, “That’s right Marol. You can go”. Johnny was BOILING MAD. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, “I wish these women would keep their mouths shut”.
The teacher asked, “WHO SAID THAT?” Johnny said, “BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?”
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.”
“Good. What comes after three?”
“Four,” answers the boy.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” says the kid.