TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
L-JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: “HIJKLMNO”!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNY: George!
TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have
ten years ago?
L-JOHNY: Me!
TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than
you are.
L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by
biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don’t bite any.
TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
L-JOHNY: I is…
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, “I am.”
L-JOHNY: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?”
L-Johnny : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime.”
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t
punish him?”
L-Johnny : “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at
home
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Johny, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your
brother’s. Did u copy his ??
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher
Girlfriend: And are u sure u love me and no one else?
B’friend: Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. pretty soon all other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him where he got it. he told him to leave him alone and let him get sleep but they persisted until he gave in.
“OK do u see that tree out there ?” he asked, pointing through the mouth of the cave." Yes ,yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“GOOD!” said the first bat. “Because I didn’t!”
Customer: I cant eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!.
Waiter: Its no use . he wont eat it either.
Husband: You know, wife our son got his brain from me .
wife: I think he did , I’ve still got mine with me .
Man: There is a bomb in my garden !
Officer: Don’t worry! If no one claims it within three days, You can keep it.
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach u anything!
L-Johnny: That’s why I say she’s no Good !.
