Mabrook,
I've been very lenient in allowing the kid's make up and even the fake nails. But she is not allowed to go out with them.
I don't allow nailpolish to school unless it's a clear coat or something that is very, very pale pink. On special occassions like Eid she is permitted to wear a colour that matches her outfit. I let her get pedicures and manicures (i.e. handicures and feeticures according to her) with me so that she feels girly but again, the colours have to be very pale and the main reason is so that she learns to take care of herself.
I'm curious to know why you believe that your daughter will out grow lots of things in time. If she is asking to have her hair dyed red when she is 9, what makes you think that she will not want it dyed, perhaps another color, at that time? And once you allow so many things that adults do, how will you be able to deny her those privileges later on?
Muzna meri nazer main se ye sub bachpan kay shouq hain ager bachpan main pooray ho jain tu hasrat/obsession nahin bantay. Even If she does get red hair or even purple hair at 9 she might see how it actually looks in reality n she might not really like them.
but with freedom i do introduce limits in my own way. i hav started to teach her abt checking prices b4 buying stuff n telling her how we can't buy everthing in the store. Also the sentence"muslim ppl can't do this" is coming more in our conversation so she understands the restrictions our religion puts on us. I'm not keen on her having after school friendships with kids from other religions so we keep regular contacts with muslim, pakistani families whose values r close to ours. So its a continual process. With every birthday u allow few new things and disallow few from previous yrs.
Eventually they learn what to adopt n what to drop.