little boys

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how do you deal with them? this is from a purely aunt-related perspective.

i find boys very very annoying. especially when they are in that 6-15 age group, when you’re not sure if you should be smacking that kid or what. a lot of times, you can give them the dad dhamki, but often times the dad isn’t around when there needs to be discipline and i usually see that the boys will listen to their dads. so what do you do?

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Re: little boys

OK so my experience with boys is limited to:

  1. My nephew. He is 6. Annoys everyone else. Great with me. So no probs here.
  2. My daughter’s friend. He is 4. Works well with me.
  3. 6-8 year old boys I teach at the masjid. OK this is where my problem lies. A couple of them are extra hyper so it is very challenging to have them sit for 5 minutes at a time and learn their sabaq. The others don’t revise and look at me with a blank face the next day.

I also teach girls of the same age group but I can see a clear difference in their learning abilities and concentration.

Now this may be MY problem because I have daughters and am used to working with them. I think moms of sons can deal with them so much better. :bummer:

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Re: little boys

OK, so maybe that was a bit off topic, but I think discipling boys is much harder :hinna:

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Re: little boys

i think so too. 0-5/6, all ok. they are dealable, it’s after that when you’re all like :frusty: my cousin’s got a boy and a girl. the boy’s older. and oh gosh he’s so hyperactive. i mean to some extent i think all boys are. but even his mom at odds to how to deal with him.

similarly when i taught summer classes at the local mosque i had to deal with little boys, again around the ages of 6-7. and oh gosh they would NOT listen. always khikhi’ing, paying attention elsewhere and just being hard to handle.

so besides yelling how do you deal with them ¬_¬

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Re: little boys

I try not to yell at my 3 boys. They are definitely more active and louder than girls but they're also good friends, love to have fun. Mostly what works is redirection. Get them interested in something more acceptable or quiet.

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Re: little boys

Depends on the boy. My good friend has a 9 year old and he's very mature. Another friend has a 6 year old and the even the devil has nothing on him. he can make the 9 year old cry.

I use to see my aunt crying in the bathroom (she has 4 boys) but mA they have grown up. I guess they just got into trouble a lot more with all the running around and just getting into everything.

Boys will be boys. I think it starts from khumar. If they know they get away with not behaving - then they will not behave anywhere.

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Re: little boys

i dont thing any of you have met wild girls then :D

my closest friend has a 3 yr old girl and i have known teh kid since she was 1... and oh my GOD is she hell to raise... just absolutely horrible.. cant sit in one place for more tahn a second... leaves a whirlwind if disaster behind her and just doesnt listen.. the only one taht can calm her down is her dad...

i woud tut tut a whole lot but at that point i was childless and naiive
now i have a son of 13 months and i swear that girl and this boy come from the same pod in heaven... a pod called disaster.

i cant discipline just yet cuz he wont get it.. most toddlers can understand taht kinda stuff around 18 months.. i still say no quite a bit and tell him off but it makes no diff... i know im in for a very tough time as he grows up and sadly, i can justr feel that beating th daylights out of him will not make any diff.. so there goes the desi way of raising a kid.. was looking so fwd to it :(

so i will be reading replies from seasoned parents of boys to see hwo they handle their tantrums....sadly i have only nazuk mizaj boys in my family and social circle... uncanny but its true.. my own brothers were so shareef that they would understand ankh ka ishaara so even my mom gets a bit worried at how my son drives me up the wall and is at a loss for words :D

8

there is such a thign as dheet. if a kid has it in its nature to be dheet.. parents can bend over backwards trying to discipline but it wont make much of a diff.. just have to work their way around it trying to make teh situation as workable as possible.

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Re: little boys

I went thru some really tough times with mine too! But once I hit on the right things to do toget back in control, everything turned around very quickly.

Youngest used to have SUCH meltdowns. For the stupidest things. He was busy playing so didnt want me to change his diaper. Or he didnt want me to get him dressed for the day, just every day things that needed to get done. So...after a while I figured ok,he thinks he;s the boss and needs to learn that he's not. When he'd have a hissy fit, I'd put him in his bed and tell him to stay there until he was a happy boy again. If youwant to cry, scream, yell and be miserable thats fine. But you do it in your bed. If he came out still unhappy, I'd put him back. I didnt yell or fuss I just explained things and STUCK to this new plan like glue. He turned around in a matter of days. These days, I still use that tactic but also for lesser hissy fits and arguments, they lose a toy or privelege. It really works especially when you're very very consistent about what is acceptable and what is not.

Dont get me wrong, my boys arent angels all the time for sure. But I find that when they're misbehaving, its almost without exception because I've relaxed my rules about what is acceptable and what they can get away with. It never fails!!

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Re: little boys

How come dheet bachay become "undheet" in school? I think authority has something to do with it.

I have seen most young boys just need some outlet.... karate, boy scouts, so they keep their destruction to a minimun inside the house.

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Re: little boys

My daughter had a meltdown every time when asked to shut off the computer.

So I did the same thing mama. I put a kitchen timer and if she had a hissy fit then she went in her room and didn't come out until I heard an apology or she over her tanturum.

12

Thats exactly the thing njgal...so many times, the moms get so tiredthat they let things go. If you let a misbehavior go even oncethen they realize that heck I can probably get away with it ALL the time. They'd rather take the chance and see if they can indeed push the limit. School is very consistent, acceptable behavior is well defined so the boys behave. When acceptable behavior is NOT verywell defined and very well addressed, the worse they will be.

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Re: little boys

I guess not all boys are the same,I have grown up and seen my aunts 3 angels(sons)they were that well behaved,and my brother(not that angelic but great kid)my son who is 2yrs brings a whole new twist to boys,he is everything hyper,naughty,joker,chatterbox everything rolled into one ,inother words just waiting to explode,I just pray everyday that he grows up fast.