how many of you limit yourselves to certain types of friends?
ever since i left uni, or lets say got married, other than work colleagues (who i dont see outside of work), i dont have much of a friends circle.. actually zilch. The two awesomest friends i had, have moved… so it’s pretty sad where i am
the desi circle that i once associated with, is not worth association so i’ve isolated myself from that too… but weekends are soo hard. Weekends reek of housework and cooking.. not so pleasant
so, ive decided, stuff the whole religious side of making friends… the ones i know who proclaim to be muslims.. only give me a headache and wanna make me pull my hair..
ive met so many nice mothers, educated ones… at munchkins kinder.. we get along really well… a nice punjabi/sikh lady.. another a pakistani.. they are awesome
after meeting the sikh lady, i wondered, do we really limit ourselves to making friends from just one religion? why do we do this? if its so our kids grow up with the right morals? why cant they get the right morals from people of other faiths? khair.. the whole moral thing is something a parent should be responsbile for.. if we give our kids the right attitude.. they will love their faith and love people of the other faith with the same respect…
so hence… i think im gonna venture out… i miss interaction with other people.. with other cultures… sigh
what i was trying to get at was, i think culturally we dont expand out to other ethnicities… we tend to isolate ourselves within our circle.. be it good or bad, we just dont venture out… and that at times, leads to having no friends at all… lol..
after meeting the sikh lady, i wondered, do we really limit ourselves to making friends from just one religion? why do we do this? if its so our kids grow up with the right morals? why cant they get the right morals from people of other faiths? khair.. the whole moral thing is something a parent should be responsbile for.. if we give our kids the right attitude.. they will love their faith and love people of the other faith with the same respect...
so hence... i think im gonna venture out... i miss interaction with other people.. with other cultures... sigh
i think im gonna have a dinner party
Yes, we definitely do limit ourselves to making only Muslim friends or maybe even more narrowed down to only Muslim desi friends. I am so happy to have non-Muslim friends in my life. We've always been there for one another, never lost touch. A lot of times, especially with Muslim girls, it's like once one gets married, the friendship ends because you move away and you don't stay in touch. I think a reason why some tend to have only Muslim friends is because once you get to college, a lot of those non-Muslim friends get into drinking, clubbing, etc.- their lifestyle changes and we do not feel comfortable hanging out with them anymore. But I would request people to not stereotype all non-Muslims like that. There are quite a few people who live a more sober lifestyle and can make great friends.
I definitely have friends from other cultures and believe everyone should........there was a time in my life when the majority of my friends were desi and/or muslims....and honestly I think the only reason why I was friends with them was because I thought that we could "relate" a lot more (needless to say today I do not even associate with many of them anymore)...................however there are many non-muslim/desi people that can make great friends and can be very understanding and embrace the differences between lifestyles and/or cultures.....these friends also are the ones the stick with you through thick and thin...............
A friend is a friend no matter what religion they are from to be honest. How else would we promote our deen in a good manner if we didn't integrate? I have friends from all backgrounds and religions and it's so nice to learn from each other.
how many of you limit yourselves to certain types of friends?
ever since i left uni, or lets say got married, other than work colleagues (who i dont see outside of work), i dont have much of a friends circle.. actually zilch. The two awesomest friends i had, have moved... so it's pretty sad where i am
the desi circle that i once associated with, is not worth association so i've isolated myself from that too... but weekends are soo hard. Weekends reek of housework and cooking.. not so pleasant
so, ive decided, stuff the whole religious side of making friends... the ones i know who proclaim to be muslims.. only give me a headache and wanna make me pull my hair..
ive met so many nice mothers, educated ones... at munchkins kinder.. we get along really well... a nice punjabi/sikh lady.. another a pakistani.. they are awesome
after meeting the sikh lady, i wondered, do we really limit ourselves to making friends from just one religion? why do we do this? if its so our kids grow up with the right morals? why cant they get the right morals from people of other faiths? khair.. the whole moral thing is something a parent should be responsbile for.. if we give our kids the right attitude.. they will love their faith and love people of the other faith with the same respect...
so hence... i think im gonna venture out... i miss interaction with other people.. with other cultures... sigh
i think im gonna have a dinner party
I am going trough exact same issues these days. The Muslim friends I have now preach abour high morals but when it really matters they are the first ones to run away and show selfishness!I am just so fed up with that behaviour and have been thinking that I should get to know non-Muslims at my age and have a good time with them. it would also be a good away of informing about my deen by my actions and not preaching....
I dont have kids yet so getting in touch with other mothers isnt possible at this stage and the ladies at my work are in their 50ies - much older than me....any suggestions on where to start?
A fact of reality is that as you grow older your priorities change and so does your free time. I have the same friends, actually more than I had in college. But they are all at varying degrees of friendship. We don't have as much time as we did in college considering we all live in different parts of the world, but that doesn't mean we are not friends anymore.
At later stages in life your family becomes priority and after which your friends come around the 9th position.
A fact of reality is that as you grow older your priorities change and so does your free time. I have the same friends, actually more than I had in college. But they are all at varying degrees of friendship. We don't have as much time as we did in college considering we all live in different parts of the world, but that doesn't mean we are not friends anymore.
At later stages in life your family becomes priority and after which your friends come around the 9th position.
This.
It's just easier to stay in touch with my Muslim friends because I have more frequent contact with them. As for friends I had in high school, college and university, I just don't happen to cross paths with them much (if at all) now. However, for the Muslim friends living in the area, we meet whenever we go to the masjid.
the truth is, you cannot be true friends with non-Muslims yet maintain your own social and cultural values as a Muslim
you can definitely hang out with non-Muslims, you can have awesome conversations, even become very close friends, but you and them will always be different. you won't have the same social values in a lot of main things in life.
Islamically, we are not allowed to be in the company of those that ridicule our religion, so you can talk with your non Muslim friends about anything as long as they don't say bad things about our religion.. i've seen some non-Muslims do that
plus, you have to be sure that you are strong enough not to let them influence your ideas, thoughts and decisions... as Islamic ways are different from non-Islamic ways...in majority spheres of life
plus... you cannot automatically trust a non-Muslim the way you can a Muslim.. and this is something i believe even our religion instructs us
yet... i do feel that sometimes one makes connections with people who are from different religions.. one enjoys being with them..spending time with them...even more than with some Muslim friends... i would say there is no harm in sometimes casually hanging out.. but be careful of the message you are giving your kids (will they grow up to think its OK if they marry a non Muslim?).. plus for real close friendships, find a Muslim :) if you can, it is best if you don't make friends with non-Muslims...
sadzzz... didnt get u? why is it difficult for you to keep good Muslim friends... ?
not everybody that's Muslim is automatically a match for your personality.. so don't expect that to happen either.. but to put everyone in the same pool just coz you've had bad experience with few is not fair..
I think, in a way, having friends from all different walks of life, races, nationalities is a blessing. I know having a wide social circle which is composed of Pakistani and non-Pakistani friends has allowed me to become a better person too and learn about myself. You can true to yourself and be a good Muslim and have friends from another religion. Even Islam tells us to be kind to all but people forget that when it comes to making friends etc. I think one can learn alot about the world, themselves, their background and religion from interacting with different people. Also one does not have to impose their views on others. In a true friendship you would not anyway.
I woould say, don't limit yourself. The world is composed of rich and diverse cultures and unique people. Go out and interact with them.
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