Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Not true - the Prophet (saw) said that when someone is wronging your brother, you should help him, and when it is your brother doing wrong, you should stop him. As a muslim, you should absolutely speak out against wrong, (in a respectful way) it is your duty.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
If you are not getting the respect that you desire, why do you want it to be forced upon them?
Next time you visit, arrange to be more independent and on your own, sure, it wont go over well with them but at least you wont be miserable!
Dont hang on to the idle chatter that you are being subjected to, make your own life, your mian understands you, start from there!
All the best!
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Next time you visit, arrange to be more independent and on your own, sure, it wont go over well with them but at least you wont be miserable!
Dont hang on to the idle chatter that you are being subjected to, make your own life, your mian understands you, start from there!
All the best!
Still there is a problem, when we were back here the last day, we apologize for the sake of make the parents happy, they were happy to say Allah Hafiz to us but when we are here and call them they start saying bad things. They don't want to listen anything. Their mood changed very quickly.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Ummm, sorry if i'm wrong, but I remember you said that they (your inlaws) have been giving you problems from the day you got engaged. If that's true, then did that not raise a red flag? Did you not have doubts about it or tell your parents anything?
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
You are right but one of our relative said " shadiyon main thora bohat masla to hota hi hai" but actual problem was raised from last six months. I offered them that I get away from their son but they dont accept my offer ... What they want I don't know??
My parents know little bit like 40% but I don't tell them every thing becoz they are in Pakistan, after knowing about my susrall they only hurt so why I hurh my parents, even I don't hurt his parents too. I give you an example, they went to the susral of her sons said what ever she wants but not doing the same in daughter's susraal, thereason is she said I have hold on my son, dil and thier family but if I did in daughter's susraal. my daughter is in trouble.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Jias, Im riled up! UFF LARKI! eik tau doormat banti ho aur phir kehti hau keh they walk all over you!
Apologies are to be used when you are at mistake, yeh koi baat nahin ke you apologize because it smoothes things out temporarily!
I am not in your shoes, so from what I read earlier on, I can just say that learn from their attitude and behaviour that has been in front of you for so long. Stop trying to become "good buddies" with them when they are clearly not interested, it is going to be hard, but give them respect as your in-laws but NOT your integrity and get on with life.
jhappa I feel for you! I ve seen a version of this story with a relative and can say that if you keep walking this path, the end result is not going to be kind to you and your family!
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Apologies are to be used when you are at mistake, yeh koi baat nahin ke you apologize because it smoothes things out temporarily!
I am not in your shoes, so from what I read earlier on, I can just say that learn from their attitude and behaviour that has been in front of you for so long. Stop trying to become "good buddies" with them when they are clearly not interested, it is going to be hard, but give them respect as your in-laws but NOT your integrity and get on with life.
jhappa I feel for you! I ve seen a version of this story with a relative and can say that if you keep walking this path, the end result is not going to be kind to you and your family!
You are right, kabhi kabhi courtesy main bhi apologize kiya jata hai, I want to make them happy, becoz after this event my hubby and me are in tension they are parents and be respectable for us but my sil's made it worst, so what is the result to solve the problems, we did nothing but his mom said you are insulted me infront of your wife, (jhotay ilzamat ka kiya karen) we are in great trouble.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Jias, could you explain why you extend this "courtesy main bhi apologize " to them when they clearly donot extend it to you?
Again, I'm not in your shoes (and mashwaras are always free) but I can just suggest that you should work to get a strong bond with your husband. And that means that both of you figuring out keh future ka kia kerna hai, as things are, neither of you are happy so both of you figure out what it is that you want of life and stick to those goals.
Sure, its so easy to say, but as I said I have seen such a story play out where the end result was that the couple divorced, the husband blamed the wife for the misery of his life and his parents lives blah blah, and their two kids live with their father, absolutely hate their mother and the mother is miserable, alone and lives on the mercy of her brother.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Manna,
My hubby is caring, but I scared that if my sil will try to fill his ears they are 5 and I am alone what I will say when his ears are also filled with their relatives, I am in great tension, what is my future, I was not afraid if I don't have a little daughter? Plz pray for my safe future .
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
InshaAllah things will go well, but stop being a doormat! Im not saying hathyaar utha lo :soldier:! Im only suggesting that you counteract the khusurphusur with being great (not doormattish) with your mian …
Uff tauba! 5 nands:meeno: !inko aur koi kaam nahin kia?
Koi bhee na dekh raha ho par Khuda tau dekh raha hai. All the best!
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Thanks for duaa, I need it this time, coming 4 weeks are very critical for us Allah bless us aameen.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
Actually his sisters do bad behaviour(badtamezi) on last day of our departure from Pakistan, he angered on his sisters and mom favors the daughters not even said any word in favor of the son, he angered that my youngers are able to misbehave with me, so my sil trying to fill ear of her mom against me any my hubby to hide their mistake of misbehaviour with elder brother.
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
I totally agree with decent6chora...
Men usually can't balance their relationship his mother/father/siblings and his wife...Wife expects husband to completely ignore his family and just focus on her...
Jias, his mother is his mother and you can't do anything about that..i m sure when she refuse to take care of your baby, something was bothering her and she took it out this way..otherwise, he does not hate or dislike your baby...
learn to be patient...Life would be a breeze...
This is one concept I would never understand about girls... If I wanted my mother to be treated with respect, wouldn't i have to respect someone else's mother? So, jias be patient..this time will come for you as well !!
Re: Limit of Patience is Over
I totally agree with decent6chora...
Men usually can't balance their relationship with their mother/father/siblings and their wives...Wives expects husband to completely ignore his family and just focus on them...
Jias, his mother is his mother and you can't do anything about that..i m sure when she refuse to take care of your baby, something was bothering her and she took it out this way..otherwise, he does not hate or dislike your baby...
learn to be patient...Life would be a breeze...
This is one concept I would never understand about girls... If I wanted my mother to be treated with respect, wouldn't i have to respect someone else's mother? So, jias be patient..this time will come for you as well !!