A housewife walked into her kitchen to see her husband with a fly
swatter in his hand. She asked, “Honey, what are you doing?” He
responded, “Oh, just swatting flies.” She asked. “Killing any?” He
responded, “Yes, I got 3 males and 2 females!” “Good”, she said, and
turned to walk away. But then a puzzling thought overcame her and she
turned back towards her husband and asked, “Honey, how could you tell
the sex of the flies?” He responded,“Well, 3 were on the beer can and 2
were on the phone.”
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband missing.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the
kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.He appears to be in
deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear
from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. “What’s the matter,
dear?”, she whispers as she steps into the room, Why are you down here
at
this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you
remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he
asks solemnly. "Yes, I do"she replies. The husband paused. The words
were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in
the back seat of my car ?” “Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering
herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. “Do you remember
when he showed the
shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send
you to jail for 20 years?” “I remember that too” she replied softly. He
wiped
another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have got free today.”
