It is called baat ka batangar banana. I do not find anything objectionable in the comments of your friend. She was merely stating a fact. She did not refer to the death of this poor lady’s husband. This widow is sensitive to her loss and that is natural . As you said the other girls is also sweet and soft spoken then why are you taking her comments as taunt ? Seems you are more sensitive than this widow friend of yours.
Friends do take interest in each others life and do appreciate in positive change in behavior what is so wrong about it ?