Life is very fast in US

Lifestyle Relationships
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compared to Pakistan, don’t you think so?

I do not know how it is in other countries but since I have visited Pakistan twice I find it very very different. I felt as if it is very slow and calm, unlike the life here. You have so much time there and in US a day goes by in seconds. People do not do much over there and here we work or go to school or do both.

So then why don’t people understand? Or is it my thinking if I am being selfish or upright. But a person from Pakistan who neither studies nor works and lives with his parents spending their money, do you think he has the right to be matched up with a person who has been living here for half of her life, working and studying?

I feel that’s an aweful decision made by both parents, If he has not had a single job in his entire life and has barely studied until 9th grade? I find it amazing.

I feel very bad for the girl but what I do not understand is that why she does not talk with her family and let them know. It’s her life, she’s going to spend it with him, If she is a coureer minded person than how will she cope with it all?

Is it just me having a hard time swallowing it or do you people not feel the same?

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lol yea if u haven't noticed parents r still living in the old days, i had opened a thread earlier bout da same thing dat parents force their kids in marrying in their zaat or family. it's sad as hell dat they don't think bout wut their kids want or even if they'll b happy wid it

after all they ain't da ones who gonna live da life lata on...i wish they'd undastand dat..n im not sayin dat parents r always wrong n stuff but they r neva right eitha

i respect all parents n also mine but i dont' think they have da rite to "force" their kids into their choice or decision. i kno i won't do dat Inshallah to my kids...

in her case i think u shuld really motivate her to talk to her parents cuz dis won't work for her if she's into studyin n all n he hasn't had no education at all..

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different people see things differently .. and understanding of a thing is different too ... if that girl thinks it fine then it prolly is ... i think ... maybe the girl is majboor? ... there can be many reasons ... what is the guys side of the story? .. hmm ... sometimes education is not the only thing one looks for when it comes to marriage ... interesting ... have seen such cases before ..

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Re: Life is very fast in US

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaasi: *
People do not do much over there
[/QUOTE]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not true !!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Life is very fast in US

I don't agree with you when you say life in Pakistan is slow. I also had this perception when I went there on vacation etc. but life at least in the big cities especially now is just as hectic. anyway, back to main issue....

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Pyaasi: *
I feel very bad for the girl but what I do not understand is that why she does not talk with her family and let them know. It's her life, she's going to spend it with him, If she is a coureer minded person than how will she cope with it all?

[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry but I have no sympathy for this girl. IMO, if you're being wronged, the only person who can prevent it is you. if she does not want to marry this man, she should step up and say so instead of being the ultimate sacrificing Pakistani daughter/sister. if she doesn't, well too bad. she chose to throw her life away. she should not come back and blame her parents etc for any of this. as you said she's a career driven gal, so she must be a semi-intelligent person. she should piece together the consequences of marrying a nau-jamaatiya. and if she still goes ahead with it, as I said before, too damn bad.

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^

while i do sympathise with the girl sambrialian, i SO COMPLETELY TOTALLY AGREE with you abt the other thoughts u have expressed...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! someone totally thinks like me on this issue and i am glad!

what you do with YOUR life is completely YOUR own undertaking, YOUR responsibility, YOUR actions, YOUR decisions...

if YOU choose to have an arranged marriage, if you CHOOSE to obey to your parent's choice completely, thats YOUR choice then...

because you always have all options open to you...and every moment in life you're making choices...so dont blame society, parents or anyone else for ANYTHING...please be an adult and accept responsibility for your own actions...

unless you're being physically chained or compelled to do something to the point where you have just no other option, how can you blame something on someone else?

in Pakistan we are raised to believe that that is THE RIGHT THING to just listen to our parents about everything...alhamdulillah though my parents never expected that from me...they've left all major decisions of life upto me....but for those who just listen to their parents and then complain later...my question is: who told you not to think out of the box, not challenge the conventions and not do what YOU wanted if it was different from what your parents were asking you to do? if YOU stick to the conventions, thats YOUR choice...you think listening to your parents in every single thing is the right thing to do? Cool, more power to you...but please be aware that that IS a CHOICE that YOU have made!

imho when you're an adult you are answerable for whatever you do, you can't just keep deferring making decisions in life by putting it on your parents

dont come and say tomorrow that OH but my parents wanted me to do this so i did it

YOU are an ADULT and an INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL

it just baffles me when grown up people blame their parents for something, or say "I AM DOING THIS COZ MY PARENTS ASKED ME TO" ... fine, in that case if that is your deicison to listen to your parents, then live up to your deicison later too, if it has bad consequences...

YOU can't escape life like that and find scapegoats and just blame your parents for things...please grow up, face the fact that you are an adult with a brain, and accept responsibility for your decisions and actions!

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Well, if your friend isnt into it 100% then what does that say about her future with this guy. Better to speak now, and avoid disaster later.

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Pyaasi, did your friend talk with anyone in same situation or someone who've been in similar situation?

Life doesn't always present many options but then you just have to create them for yourself. An uneducated person might not always be a problem, but one who've gotten used to the idea of being semi-illiterate and is okay with it, is a problem. Especially if he/she has had opportunity to study yet didn't.

Arrange marriages are very difficult to end, unlike love-marriages, which is why the divorce rate is as it is. Family support in arrange marriages is a myth only, they're there for minor problems, if you're lucky that is. For bigger issues you're on your own, many desi females don't realize that in time. If she's under pressure, it'll only get worse when she signs the contact. If she marries this guy, I hope that she's mentally prepared to work 'on him'. If he's from some village, she might have to help him spell his own name. Ppl living of their parents income only have so much personality.

Wish her luck.

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Re: Re: Life is very fast in US

absolutely true..

here is a link. look at some key tables e.g.

figure 13a Inactivity rates for the population aged 25 to 54 years, latest years

and

figure 6c Annual hours worked per person, latest years

anyways this is not a discussion about work ethic and productivity etc, i just wanted to set the record straight.

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Life will always throw googlies at you. I guess one has to master the art of batting through practice. Thats all I have to say.

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A cricketing explanation :k:

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Re: Re: Re: Life is very fast in US

where’s the link Mr F?

Anyways, my personal observations count more than the results of some statistical survey :halo:

Most Pakistanis work very hard, from the farmer in the field to the housewife in the city to the career persons in the city. There are some veley but generally we’ve all got busy lives here. Its a complete misconception that life in Pakistan is slow paced or Pakistanis are lazing around all the time.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Life is very fast in US

*Originally posted by irem: *

**where’s the link Mr F? **

link is here, and I have also edited my post so it shows up there.

Anyways, my personal observations count more than the results of some statistical survey :halo:

I dont think so.

**Most Pakistanis work very hard, from the farmer in the field to the housewife in the city to the career persons in the city. **

okay so maybe its that they dont work smart, they work hard.

**There are some veley but generally we’ve all got busy lives here. Its a complete misconception that life in Pakistan is slow paced or Pakistanis are lazing around all the time. **

so why do pakistansi byatch and moan that life in US is too fast when they come here if theya re used to a fast paced life?

Fact remains Americans work the most hours

http://www.ilo.org/public/english/bureau/inf/pr/1999/29.htm

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yoohoo irem

:P

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muhahahaha Mr. F :D

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true … wishing her all the best .. :flower1: