Life Choices 1

[preciousheera]

Re: Husband and money. Help!!

@cloud123

Don’t you think I have tried and in fact we had a big fight about this.

He earns very good and I don’t think he know the value of money because in the years we have been married he never saves. Wastes all money on useless stuff. That’s why we couldn’t save up and buy a house.Years ago we had a car accident and won some money on compensation claim each. Both around the same amount. Again wasting high amounts on rent. This compensation was the only savings. I told him, if he saves more I will put my share forward towards the mortgage. So we did start the process and advisors told him we need to save up more in the range we are looking for. I said ok. For this reason I transferred my money to his account as they need to see the full amount of savings together. Next thing I know that plan is cancelled and he decided to invest in some plot bk home. I wasn’t happy and didn’t agree to it. We were going there anyway for my sisters wedding.

I decided to get my money back by transferring all my money bk to my account without his knowledge. He found out hours later and at that time we were in a taxi on the way to airport. He was so angry and I think the driver also felt the tension.he texted me If I don’t transfer to him before the boarding it won’t b good for me. Threatened more like. I argued back I’m sorry I took it like that but this was my money and not his earnings. I have asked my money before and he had out right refused saying that’s his money and it was his car that I had accident hence I don’t deserve it back. I was scared and I didn’t want any drama and we were going to Pk and especially during my sis wedding and so gave back. Even for the wedding he did not give me any single money to buy outfits. In fact I used what little I had tightly saved up from child benefit. In fact my parents bought me outfits and for my little one too and knew my circumstances. I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to spend on me as they already had wedding to cover.

So in the end he didn’t buy any. He gave all savings to his dad. My in laws are well
Off, they live off from rental income as they are landlords to commercial buildings . I was pissed. He said who the hell I am to tell him where he puts his money.

Omg, I could of wrote all this word for word myself…exactly the same situation and exactly the same sanario played out with me …(only difference I earn some money from my own job so not completely dependent, however all my money goes on the rent and car, while his only goes on the internet and gas bill).

I don’t have much advice as I’m in the same boat as you but can surly relate to you… I was so pushed by his silliness that I even considered bad options to earn money (I have a thread on that here…) he drives me mad about the not saving stuff, and the his money is his money and my money is are money logics…

The only advice I could give is maybe get a part time cash in hand job… I do cash in hand babysitting at the moment while on maternity leave, it’s not a lot but it helps me buy some nice things for my self or my children, I know as a wife we have rights to pocket money from husband, but when we have husbands like ares how can we force them?

I pray your situation gets better and I pray mines does to!