hmm i dont even think similar interests matter.... when ur looking for a marriage partner, u should focus on morals and how well u communicate..
maturity doesnt have much to do with age.. but more with the way one handles situations.. and u shouldnt expect ur partner to be a lot maturer than u.. cus there will be times when they need u to be the mature one.. for u take control and help them decide..
as u grow older, ur likes and dislikes change.. and u end up learning from one another... its give and take.. there is no one person in the world who is exactly the same as u... just be happy that u have found the right person.. be it they are 20 yrs older than u or younger.. if u can communicate, respect and love one another... thats perfect
Ok looking at the issue from guys prospective …
Similar interests, humor level and almost same age group is important if u want to have a fun and enjoyable relationship …
But for a good, healthy and happy life together ……I think the most important things r trust, respect for one another, good communication, and similar moral values ..!
As for maturity .. the levels should not be too far apart …
Yes..I know its very hard to find someone like that…but trust me …its not impossible … ;)
But I think as long as both r willing to put in the effort, and realize that it takes time and understanding to develop a good relationship ..everything should be fine …!
waleed/Maj, something going on that i need to know about? ;)
Natural Wonder, Sadzz, walking on water, thanks for your opinions. So I guess all those silly things dont matter after marriage huh. Why is marriage such an effort, such a compromise...does it have any benefits even?
I'm goin on 24 and he's going on 30 and I think we'd be bombastic together...he actually talks to me about stuff that matters and isnt concerned about how much I weigh...He trusts me and I can make him laugh when he's tense. He gives me great advice but never imposes it on me...
He's just a wonderful friend! Hppe I end up with someone like him..or even better...him!
hmmm catty i aint married (yet) but.. i dont think marriage can be called an effort or even a compromise..
its like any other relationship, which requires time to grow.. we all compromise in friendships and any other type of relationship, why just give marriage such a name? the only difference i see between a marriage type relationship and others is that this one requires a lot more care and patience
Cat-woman, I think it is the "I'm entitled" mentality that most have of marriage that kills it. Marriage is an effort at times. There are more strains on a marriage than on a 'friend' relationship. I have a great marriage (Ibelieve), but some days you work very hard not to scream at the top of your lungs in frustration.
You know what I mean by the "I'm entitled"..... I'm the husband so I can tell my wife to do what I want..... I'm the wife, so I can spend what I want.... I'm the wife and when I am mad, I just don't have to talk or touch until he shows me just HOW MUCH he loves me..... I'm the husband, it is my wifes job to make sure the house is cleaned even if she works 8-10 hours a day, it's her job. Or how about the person who believes everything is light and sunshine just because they are married and at the first sign of trouble, they give up.
Rather than working things out like adults, there is bickering on what the other should do or how things should be.
If my friend annoys me then, I go home and wait til tomorrow or the next day to speak with her again. If my husband annoys me, it's not the same. I cannot escape by going to my room in marriage. I agree wholeheartedly with sadzzz (BTW, who sounds as though she would be a fantastic wife).
Marriage is the same thing as in any kind of relationships, only in a marriage, it is meant to last til death (in my faith and mind it does). So, you can try to make it pleasant and a joy or it can be a hell on earth. The choice (and some days it is a chore to make this choice) is up to those in a marriage.
^ that sounds perfect haha man.. i do hope i can be a fantastic wife.. lets see how it goes
another thing i wanted to add was…
these days, too many people go into a marriage with all these expectations and criteria.. there are so many checkboxes we need to tick before we say “yes” to even looking at a possible potential..
my advice is to just leave these expectations out for awhile and talk to the person with a positive approach.. u’ll learn a lot more about one another and maybe even realise that all the criteria u carry around is probably not necessary.. cus most of the time, ur mind is so clogged up with all these ideas that u’ll miss even the nicer things the “candidate” says..
Humor important
interest some should be shared (dosn’t have to be all)
age trivial my hubby is 3 yrs younger…n it isn’t an issue like sadzz said don’t get stuck on your checklist…if i had i would have given my husaband who wa younger and a grad student (at the time) a chance
ditto ..age wise my husband is younger than me, but we never felt so, it was never an issue with us, we recongize it that its only a number not something that makes one dominent on the other.. anyway it feels like he is so much older than me, even before he got married, people would think that he is already married with kids, he looks so mature. maturity doesnt come with age, i know some people who are over 30 but act like teenagers.
From what you guys say, I really dont think Im ready for marriage. lol
yeah sadzz you will make a lovely wife! (marry me? ;) )
Its true age isnt anything but a number, but I meant to emphasise the maturity aspect and common interests. It is important to have your own interests and to allow the other person to develop as an individual.
Thanks for the input guys, I really appreciate it.
haha man.. i do hope i can be a fantastic wife.. lets see how it goes