How friendly do you think should be get with a boss / manager?
Is it okay to be able to joke with them frankly ? Would you make friends with them outside work? invite them home with family etc ?
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
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Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
Depends how friendly a boss is.
Depends what kind of jokes you want to share.
I do treat my team and cross functional team members often with homemade lunches and sometimes at restaurants for team building. Never invited anybody from work to my home.
Should I?
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
No socializing with colleagues after work for me. Spend sufficient time together at work. Don't feel the need to spend more time after hours.
Of course inevitably do run into desi colleagues at the local temple on the rate occasions I visit. That's about it.
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
I strive for a balance and have been most comfortable with bosses with whom I had somewhat of a personal connection to as well. It usually did not translate into dinners at each others homes but some former bosses have become friends and two have been at my house multiple times an vice versa.
The watch outs and gotchas are
You have to make sure you dont look like an ass kisser, it can make well earned promotions just as favors
If you are seen too much of the boss' guy, and the guy leaves, depending on who replaces him, you can be seen as a part of the old regime and be under the microscope or start in a weak position- happened to me once. When he left, his opponent G who took on his role in the interim in addition to his role, told me plainly... J brought you here, you are his guy, I am keeping an eye on all of J's guys.. Luckily I had built a decent relationship with G as well, so within a few weeks he told me I was "in" ...
How is it in the company culture, if its a team oriented company where ppl are hanging out after work and you exclude yourself, you can be seen as the odd man out and not a team player- seen one of my bosses deal with that stigma and he was forced out in the end (sadly this is the guy who I was seen as his guy, so his predecessor who was a buddy of one of this exec leadership opponents always kept me at an arms length, but it had other factors as well...in the end I left) ... I had socialized with the broader senior team more than my boss did, which they liked, with the reorgs as ppl were forced out, I was not impacted. I just lost out because I was busy and one of my peers worked hard in a few months to build a relationship with the new guy, and a promotion that was promised not by my old boss J but the interim G, who grew to run the whole business...ended up going against his wishes by the new dude to my competitor.
so it has pros and cons...my advise, do at least as much as the company culture generally does. More than that if you feel comfortable but not as ass kissing, and dont be way too friendly in group settings, it comes off as fanboy or cheerleader.
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
Read the book , "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi it deals with this topic too. I did. It helped me out a lot.
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
it is a good book
Re: Level of friendliness with the boss ..
Never invited my boss(es) home for lunch/dinner but once a year i do give them a gift or two. The awkward moment is when he gifts me a “bottle” every christmas. 
But I dont hesitate to crack a joke whenever it pops up. And same from other side too. I like funny bosses.