I just had to write about this because I was feeling really bad. A lot of us live away from home. My parents live in the middle east and my sister has just moved in with me in Canada. She’s 17. My parents have pretty much “let me go” (I don’t know how else to say it) because I’ve been living alone since last year and I’ve always been kind of independant, even though I’m just 20. Anyway, they called today and my sister said she wanted to stay here in Canada to take summer university classes. I KNOW my parents feel bad. despite us living so far away, my parents are very traditional and we are very very tightly knit as a family and I know my sister not going there to spend 5 months is gonna hurt them. She told them “what am I gonna do there?” and i know that hurt. On one hand I wish my sister was going but on the other I wish my parents had other things going on in their lives. I wish us staying away didn’t hurt them but it does right. You invest so much in your kids and my parents just came and got us an apartment and furnished it all for us new. My mom was shopping for food for us like crazy and bringing it home herself (imagine carrying cartons full of halal meat up flights of stairs). I feel so bad, I feel like crying. IMy sister and me were sleeping one day and my middle aged parents went and moved my bed and furniture from my old place by themselves. I feel horrible but I can;'t do anything,
I hate that we’ve drifted away from our parents and can’t live with them because from here on, we will never will live with them. My sister will finish school here, my father has a job there. We’re too young for this! A few years ago when I was fighting to get away from my parents, I never realized that I might get what I wished for or that it would hurt so much…
I dont think you understood her post. She means that they are living far away from her parents and her parents need them. But life has seperated them (her and her sister ) from her folks.
maybe u and ur sis shoudl take out and go visit them… or make it a point to call them at least once or twice during the week.. just to let them know u love em
i call my mum everyday from work… she lives with me but still.. if u know ur parents are missing u… why not give em a call and talk about anything and everything… even if its about a broken nail… call someone who cares :k:
I know exactly how you feel Sarah, as I am sure many reading the post will as well.
Somehow parents usually understand that their child will one day have to leave them. Some families try to prevent this by marrying within the khandan and having children live nearby or some try to prevent it by moving to the same city as the children after they have gotten married. I think that although parents always miss their children and vice versa, there comes a point when they become settled with the thought that their children are in good hands with their spouse.
If this wasnt the case, parents wouldnt ask their children to get married in the first place. They would tell them to never marry and live with them always. It's a tradeoff they make in a way. In exchange for letting them go, they get to raise a family and live happily with their spouse. It's a natural inclination. You see it happening in nature that the children leave their parents, and it happens with us too. I think the only time parents regret this is when a marriage doesnt work out.
Some parents prefer to live away from their married children, more parents than you would expect.
You must remember that your parents also had parents. Do you see their relationship with their parents? They are usually content in their marriage, and speak and meet their parents on a regular basis. They dont usually feel torn about it, unless a parent gets sick, etc. Because they have come to a certain realization.
As much as it saddens me to think that one day I will have to leave my parents house, I seek comfort in the thought that when they see me happily married Insha'Allah, they will find comfort in their hearts, and contentment that although I may be living far off in the distance, we are always in eachothers hearts, and only a moments notice/phonecall away.
but still.. if u know ur parents are missing u… why not give em a call and talk about anything and everything… even if its about a broken nail… call someone who cares :k: