Do people ever let go of their dream to have a baby…when it doesn’t happen?
At what point does a couple decide that having a child isn’t in their kismet, despite having undergone years of fertility treatments and/or spent thousands and thousands of dollars?
I’m not giving up, but I read a post in Life1…about a couple who were content with not having children so I was wondering..has anyone here been through the same or known of anyone who has?
and for my sisters who are TTC…may Allah bless you soon! This is in no way to discourage anybody but I wanted to hear about somethign different than what’s normally posted here…
My mom's cousin tried for years to have a child and she had a few miscarriages and one late-term stillbirth. After the stillbirth, because it was so emotionally wrenching for them, they decided against any more medical intervention - she was about 38-39, so thought their chances at a having a child had virtually ended. They had resigned themselves to not having any children - they loved each other dearly and considered their childlessness to be Allah's marzi.
Alhamdolillah, at the age of 46 for her and closer to 50 for him, and 20 years after they got married, they were blessed with a son. We were thrilled for them!! And what do you know, 3 years later, they had a daughter as well. Yes, they are older parents, but what you realize is that what Allah intends will happen despite our own intentions :)
i know of a couple where the wife was having infertility issues. I guess they came to a point where they don't want to try any longer and alhudmulillah is content with her life.
I say, do what you can do up to a point that you can handle. The rest is up to Allah SWT.
I knew of a couple that had an only son..when the son was 25 (and the mother was 50) she had her second child.
There really are tiny miracles..you just have to have faith.
I think no one can ever let go of any dream...you just make peace with it and have faith that whatever it is and however it is ,is what Allah wants for us...and thank for whatever Allah has blessed us in this world with.
I am not trying to preach...I am just saying how I personally feel about a few things which were once very near and dear to me but never happened...I dont think I gave up on those dreams,I just thank Allah for the other options I had and whatever I was and am blessed with...
Miracles happen and I believe in those...!!
(I think I should have specified that when I talked of some of my dreams I was not able to give up on,they were not related to having kids.It was just another dream of my life which actually never happened..!..)
I have some relatives who had a daughter and then nothing. They wanted more children but it didn't happen.
Earlier this year they had a baby boy :). Their daughter is almost 15 and they themselves are in their 40s. Don't lose hope, keep strong in your faith and inshallah inshallah you will be blessed with children.
I go through these stages. Sometimes i feel, if Allah wanted me to have children i would have had, if not no problem. And other times i get so depressed that don't have children. I hope i have a happy ending story..usually i joke about it, that we'll be those couples in their 50's who suddenly fall pregnant. :)
After 15 years of marriage (and trying) my mumani got pregnant. A few years later they had their second.
I do think that it's good to keep trying, but it's also important to focus your energy toward other goals, so that you have feelings of progress and growth. It might be something simple like making sure you're physically healthy, in shape, eating well. It might be more complex to work toward academic or career goals. Or perhaps to work on relationships to make sure you have a good relationship with those people who are closest to you so that you will have a good support system for when inshAllah you get pregnant and also so that you will have a partner to help create home for your new child inshAllah.
May allah answer our duas and grant ALL of us trying to conceive healthy children inshallah.
I've been trying for 5 months and nothing. I get really depressed sometimes and wonder "what if it is not written for me?"
I'm crying as I write this because I can't imagine the pain anyone who has been trying for years must be going through as I cannot imagine how I'd live if that ends up being me.
I think women trying to conceive for years without luck are some of the strongest women out there. Imagine not being able to have the one thing that comes so naturally to 90% of women eventhough you want it so bad you'd do anything to get it.
Do people ever let go of their dream to have a baby...when it doesn't happen?
At what point does a couple decide that having a child isn't in their kismet, despite having undergone years of fertility treatments and/or spent thousands and thousands of dollars?
I'm not giving up, but I read a post in Life1...about a couple who were content with not having children so I was wondering..has anyone here been through the same or known of anyone who has?
and for my sisters who are TTC....may Allah bless you soon! This is in no way to discourage anybody but I wanted to hear about somethign different than what's normally posted here....
I gave up on them when I turned 16 (when I realized how much they hinder you from enjoying your life)