what we have to do here is that i’ll post a very simple and easy paragraph in urdu and u have to refine the text more N more till its rather not possible to refine it any more. make sure that the original meaning of the text remains un changed:
ok? ready? here we go:
do teen din pahle kii baat hai k mere ek dost apni sister ke saath kisi mele meN jaa ne ke liye taiyaar baiThe the. ittifaaq se train 2 ghanTe late thii so ham sab ne sochaa kiuN na ham railway station jaate huye raaste meN ice cream khaa len taa k waqt bhi kaT jaaye aur zabaan ko mazaa bhi mil jaaye. so, is taraH ham sab rickshoN meN lad phand ke chowk gaye jahaN ham sab ne mazedaar ice cream khaaii, kuchh shopping kii phir station gaye aur vahaN pahoNchte hii train aaa chuki thi.
what do you mean by "refine"
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salees [bahtar] urdu meN likhnaa hai :) jaise "kia Haal haiN" iskaa bahtar jumlaa hogaa "mizaaj-e-giraamii kaise haiN?" :)**
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do teen din pahle kii baat hai k mere ek dost apni sister ke saath kisi mele meN jaa ne ke liye taiyaar baiThe the. ittifaaq se train 2 ghanTe late thii so ham sab ne sochaa kiuN na ham railway station jaate huye raaste meN ice cream khaa len taa k waqt bhi kaT jaaye aur zabaan ko mazaa bhi mil jaaye. so, is taraH ham sab rickshoN meN lad phand ke chowk gaye jahaN ham sab ne mazedaar ice cream khaaii, kuchh shopping kii phir station gaye aur vahaN pahoNchte hii train aaa chuki thi.**
**
lemme show what i mean by refining. read the quoted text [in green fonts] and then the following refined version [in blue]. look for words and phrases that have been changed to make it better:**
**abhi chand ek aiyaam kii baat hai k mere aHbaab meN se ek apnii hamsheera ke hamraah kisi mele men jaane ke liye kamar basta baiThe the. ittefaaqan, rail gaaRii do ghanTe taaKheer se aanewaali thii lihaazaa ham ne socfhaa k kiuN na ham station jaate huye raah meN qayaam kar ke ice cream kaa zaaiqa le leN taa k waqt guzaarii bhii ho jaaye aur zabaan bhii lazeez swaad se aashnaa ho jaaye. is taraH, ham sab rickshoN meN lad-phand ke markazii abazaar gaye jahaN ham sab ne lazeez tareen ice cream khaayii, kuchh Khareed o faroKht kiyaa phir station par aamad hote hii rail gaaRii pahoNch chukii thii. :)
btw, abhii is iqtibaas [text] meN bahoooooot behtarii kii gunjaaish hai...so, koshish jaarii reakkheN :)**
salees [bahtar] urdu meN likhnaa hai :) jaise "kia Haal haiN" iskaa bahtar jumlaa hogaa "mizaaj-e-giraamii kaise haiN?" :)
lemme show what i mean by refining. read the quoted text [in green fonts] and then the following refined version [in blue]. look for words and phrases that have been changed to make it better:
abhi chand ek aiyaam kii baat hai k mere aHbaab meN se ek apnii hamsheera ke hamraah kisi mele men jaane ke liye kamar basta baiThe the. ittefaaqan, rail gaaRii do ghanTe taaKheer se aanewaali thii lihaazaa ham ne socfhaa k kiuN na ham station jaate huye raah meN qayaam kar ke ice cream kaa zaaiqa le leN taa k waqt guzaarii bhii ho jaaye aur zabaan bhii lazeez swaad se aashnaa ho jaaye. is taraH, ham sab rickshoN meN lad-phand ke markazii abazaar gaye jahaN ham sab ne lazeez tareen ice cream khaayii, kuchh Khareed o faroKht kiyaa phir station par aamad hote hii rail gaaRii pahoNch chukii thii. :)
btw, abhii is iqtibaas [text] meN bahoooooot behtarii kii gunjaaish hai...so, koshish jaarii reakkheN :)
Am I allowed to have my say?
Brother, what you referred to as "salees" text isn't salees actually. Instead it is "mushkil" form of Urdu. :)
Ummmmm if you want us to "refine" some text, you can post it over here and hopefully it'll help us broadening our vocabulary. And kindly post the text from some book etc instead of 'day-to-day sentnces'.