All women want is security and assurance of fidelity by the man they marry…Even if he be married to three other women…
Imagine the scenario of a divorced or widowed women in other cultures or religions…Especially in Hinduism, where many were sacrificed on the pyres of their dead husbands…Imagine how grateful such a woman would be if given a second chance in life to live the life of a married woman once again…Imagine how totally devoted that woman would be at being given a second chance at another spousal relationship…Despite being a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife…
However, such is not the case in western cultures, where single moms have to eke out a living after having a one month relationship with the boy next door…And in case she doesn’t get pregnant, then she gets tossed around like a sexual football gratifying the lusts of every dude and buddy for the price of a couple of long island teas…
Most ignorant people, which include Muslims themselves, who are not aware of Islam tend to throw the 4 wives argument everytime spousal relationships are mentioned in reference to Islam…But that is not their fault…Ignorance has a bad habit of oozing out of the skin at the most importune moments…
4 marriages is not a norm in any Islamic culture from anyplace…It is an option, albeit with a clause…Sort of like, it’s OK to kill someone, but the clause must be that it had to be in self defence…Similarly, Islam’s clause is, you can marry 2, 3 or 4 wives if you can treat them with equal love, care and provisions…
I know, I know, you’ll probably throw in some example of an Arab marrying 4 wives in India from FOX news or some other place…However, a microscopic segment of society does not in any way represent the majority as a whole…If that were the case, then we would have to assume that all Americans are like Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy or Ted Bundy…It would have to be a totally ignorant person to believe such a thing…Or be an American who watches CNN or Fox…I really can’t tell the difference…
However, there are those that rightly marry 2, 3 or 4 wives…In my life, I have never met anyone with more than 2 wives, and even that only once…I am talking about my life and trust me, I have seen a lot…But even if they do marry multiple wives, the women of the Muslim household know, that the affection of their husband will not be squandered on haramkari with other promiscuous women and the man knows the same…So the affection of the man is equally divided inside the home of a multiple married man…
So, all in all, bringing up the 4 wives issue is as moot as bringing up spiritual affections in the western world…It’s almost non-existent…
As for older guys marrying sweet 16 year olds is concerned, well, there is as old adage about such a marriage in Urdu that goes, Aurat beesi main peesi aur mard saatthay ka paattha…
If you are so concerned about older men marrying women of a younger age, then you should adopt a different approach…Marry an older woman…Why criticise those that do marry young ones? Strangely enough, if I speak out against abnormalities such as homosexuality or premarital sex, people advise me to mind my own business, however should I promote something that I believe in, people want to mind my business too…If someone says it’s OK for an older guy to marry a younger girl, then people are up in arms but God forbid should anyone say anything about gays…Such confused people…
Anyways, the discussion is taking its usual interesting twists and turns…
Pakora: Your response reminds me of an old Japanese saying which was spoken in terms of the benefits of following Confucianism…“The mind is like a horse…Untrained and untethered it will wander in every which way and become wild…It needs discipline, training and restraint for it to become something useful and beneficial…”
