Re: Leting out desperation/anger on the innocent..
Following are few ways of overcoming one's anger. Few I remember from hadiths and few from medical sources.
Sit if you are standing. Lie if you are siting.
Anger is caused by devil and devil is made from fire, and the best thing which removes fire is water. So perform abolution, that would calm you down
Drink a glass of cold water.
Say "Aauzu-billahi-mina-shaitan-nirajeem" According to a hadtih that would remove anger.
5.Learn to forgive and forget for the love of Allah and the Prophet (saw).
Treat others the way you want yourself be treated.
Remember, those who get angry at people, Allah gets angry at them.