Her family never compares, I don’t know why she keeps saying they give more attention to my sis cuz she’s good in studies and I don’t get attention cuz I’m bad at studies.
I told her studies have nothing to do with it, her elder sister was also not allowed to go out much when she was younger. Hell, she never wore jeans, this girl did wear jeans on and off… the elder sister never had a friend’s circle with boys in it… now that she’s a professional, thats why she’s going to work-related dinners with men there … but she’s refusing to even listen to me, keeps complaining and saying I’m nothing to this family, they just don’t care about my happiness.
Haaye, I don’t knwo what I will do when my daughter gets to this age. I’m so bad at this
I guess I’ll just listen to her next time patiently :hinna:.
So obviously she feels compared if she's giving examples about her older sister, no? All I'm saying is just for a second look at it from her perspective.
I think I know what the issue is...... actually, her sister is getting more freedom now while this girl's not... she's not taking into account the fact that her sister's much older than her and in professional life now, after finishing her studies. She keeps saying why do I need to get permission for everything while the elder sister doesn't need to. I think she herself is doing the comparisons. I'll talk to her again tomorrow and try to probe further, listen to her more closely and see whats going on.
I'm sure everyone here is also aware of the way men stare at jeans-clad girls over there and I have been telling her that its for your own good but she keeps saying I don't care if guys stare, all the girls wear jeans... I look bad and paindoo in Shalwar Kameez.
It's been few years since i went back home. So, now only paindoos wear Shalwar kameez???
^Marry her off just sounds bad. That's exactly why she's complaining. Maybe she's being given a lot but it's not necessarily what she wants? Could be. She's a young adult and at that stage parents should start making their kids feel like they are listening to the individual voice that these kids have now. Of course, being a teenager, if she is in the norm, her thinking will be on the immature side.
I sort of feel bad for her.
Another obvious issue is her being treated differently from her sister. Perhaps she should be told that once she reaches that stage she will have the same 'freedom?'
Furthermore, do her brothers restrict her because they are elder siblings or because they are male siblings? Makes a lot of difference.
If she is venting, then just hear her out, and nod along with some empathy. I think its the acknowledgment of her feelings that she wants or needs at the moment, not the parental lectures on how good she already has it. maybe share your own experiences, for her to relate to?
