Lessons from Kids
For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Poor
woman.
-
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.
foot house 4 inches deep. -
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite. -
A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant. -
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear
and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room. -
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way. -
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan. -
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s
already too late. -
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
-
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A
magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. -
Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old. -
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence. -
Super glue is forever.
-
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can’t walk on water. -
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
-
VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do. -
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
-
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
-
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
-
Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like ovens. -
The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
-
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up
twice their body weight when dizzy.
