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He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t any have film.
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A day without sunshine is like … night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
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Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
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Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
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I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted,
then used against you. -
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace & quiet.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
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Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial
cost and blamed it on the cost of living. -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of
getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. -
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end
to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. -
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
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Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s
population. -
The things that come to those who wait are usually the
things left by those who got there first. -
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well. -
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
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I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
Don’t upset me…!!
I’m running out of places to hide the bodies!