Is it ever acceptable to leave your spouse for another person? Is that kind of relationship successful or is it always tainted with the way in which it began?
Re: Leaving your spouse
well if your spouse is a total jerk and ur unhappy with them then it makes sense to leave them for another person.
Re: Leaving your spouse
It's acceptable if it's Clint Eastwood...but on second thoughts, i don't think the old dear has that many years left in him. :/
Ok, maybe George Michael, but...erm..... that wouldn't work, as he doesn't bat for my side. :/
Re: Leaving your spouse
^ 
No, it’s not acceptable…if you don’t get along with teh spouse its one thing to leave them, but to break up your own marriage for a third person isn’t right IMO.
as for whether it’s successful…I dont’ know of any such examples so can’t say…
Re: Leaving your spouse
Agree with MissTY..
Also I guess if the person doesn’t feel anything for ur spouse, doesn’t like sleeping with them etc. couldn’t them for walking away..**** I’ve seen a few older desi couple (sixties-ish) who no longer live together or live in the same house but no longer even talk/eat together and I just think what’s the point???
Re: Leaving your spouse
[quote=“Deeba1234, post:46, topic:231114”]
Agree with MissTY..
Also I guess if the person doesn’t feel anything for ur spouse, doesn’t like sleeping with them etc. couldn’t them for walking away..**[
i’ve actually never seen a couple of that generation ever having marital problems or separations. that generation seemed to be so perfect, i guess even they won’t take abuse or marital pain anymore…wow](“http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/missty.html”)
Re: Leaving your spouse
^sweeping things under the rug is hardly perfect, Nisha. The women of those times were more compromising, more out of need and the way society was. But being more compromising is not necessarily the same as being better/more perfect.
Re: Leaving your spouse
Yeah, I've never seen any older Desi couple having marital issues of such severity. Al7amdliAllah/MashaAllah all the Desi couples I know are happy and content! The older generation was a rock. Sadly, the younger ones are pretty flaky.
Re: Leaving your spouse
I actually know someone who did this. Desi man who had an arranged marriage when he was 26. They never really "clicked". No "valid" complaints about the wife....their personalities were just totally different. He never considered divorce b/c of family pressure. Yet he was miserable. For the last 10 years or so in the marriage, according to him, they were more like roommates than husband/wife. No physical involvement at all. They never had any children. He always wanted children but had no interest in raising a child with his wife.
After almost 13/14 years into the marriage, he started having an affair with a Japanese woman who is the same age as him. I mention the age b/c he didn't go after someone half his age. By this time he was almost 40. The Japanese woman was single, never been married. Years before due to health problems she was told by multiple doctors that she could never have children. 2 years into the affair, the Japanese woman got pregnant. Now in his early 40's, the man took this as a "sign" and decided that if he was ever going to be truly happy, this was his chance. He divorced his wife, and married the Japanese woman. They now have a 4 year old son.
The man in the above situation has no regrets at all. He and his current wife are very happy. Heck if you knew him before when he was married to his 1st wife and now.....you can clearly see the difference in his attitude/manner. Now when he talks about his wife/son, his whole face literally lights up. Although his family was shocked at first....now they have accepted his 2nd wife and son. Years ago the man couldn't/wouldn't leave his 1st wife b/c he was "worried" about family reaction plus the uncertainty of the future. He was emotionally attached to his mistress(now wife) but that was not enough for him to "rock the boat". But once she got pregnant, that unexpected pregnancy gave him the "shove" he needed to actually take action.
Whether or not this is "acceptable" depends on different people. Personally, I would never cheat on my SO or spouse. If I was that miserable, I would leave. But there are definately other people who have left their spouse for a 3rd person and have had happy relationships/marriage.
Re: Leaving your spouse
Nisha, these are people who are very close friends of the family, most of their 'regular' friends would prob never even guess they weren't happy which I think is even more sad in some ways.. Even the few that do live apart say things like 'it's just for work' (even tho they're retired) or they just prefer living in another town or city without their spouse. Am sure every generation has had mariage problems, just in the past it was usually swept under the carpet and/or the wife was usually advised to just put up with it..
Re: Leaving your spouse
Personally, I would never cheat on my SO or spouse. If I was that miserable, I would leave.
That's me. Cheating is wrong, no matter how you put it. You CAN do the honorable thing and LEAVE before you go for the next person.
Re: Leaving your spouse
Im not going to say its alright to leave your spouse for a third person because its not.
However, sometimes good people end up in bad situations...not everyone that stays together is happy. Just because two people dont leave doesnt mean they're meant to be together. Fate deals all of us a different hand and its okay to acknowledge a mistake and move past it.
If you would like to attain happiness and be in an honest, loving relationship...the foundation shouldnt be built on someone's tears.
Re: Leaving your spouse
Im not going to say its alright to leave your spouse for a third person because its not.
However, sometimes good people end up in bad situations...not everyone that stays together is happy. Just because two people dont leave doesnt mean they're meant to be together. Fate deals all of us a different hand and its okay to acknowledge a mistake and move past it.
If you would like to attain happiness and be in an honest, loving relationship...the foundation shouldnt be built on someone's tears.
Re: Leaving your spouse
Sometimes it can be acceptable..
Example: the person you are with currently makes you miserable, or abuses you, or treats you wrong.
However, just leaving one person for another for looks and stuff is wrong
Re: Leaving your spouse
If you cannot make the things workout . Divorce is an option. Then go for a second person. Before a divorce and being married if you are seeing someone it is cheating and it is not appreciated in any culture or religion.