Leaving your parents after marriage

[angel25]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

Daffyduck.when iwas reading your post..i thought i am readin mine..everything is exactly same as mine.

well since 1 month before my wedding. i use to cry on small thing. use to be upset all the time. during the rukhsati time, i couldnt control my tears and emotions

i havent visit my parents since i move here..its almost ayear

i am always worried about my parents as they live alone. i wish i could live with them.

[AT2011]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

@DaffyDuck

This phase is probably the toughest when it comes to the wedding detailing. It’s something that all of us fear … the rukhsati time. How did you get through it?

For me, its already a big melodramatic situation when i think about it. It takes me a minute to cry when I think that i wouldn’t be able to see them for months or in fact years. Girls who have their parents in the same city or same country are super lucky without realizing how big of a blessing they have. Its easy to say that be positive, look to the bright side, i am sure all will be well etc. the fact will remain that its a biggg piece of us we give out. Its still pretty manageable for girls who meet their parents often and both sides realize they are doing good anyway but for those who wouldn’t even see them for years its a terrible feeling.

My father is the sort who keeps himself busy always either with reading a million books .. he is a true book worm, would listen to old songs, meet his friends, … anything to keep himself busy. My mum on the other hand is complete opposite. She is the extremely emotional, sentimental sort of woman who cries on other’s pains.. who wouldn’t sleep all night even if she hears a bad news on TV regarding some stranger. She cannot keep herself busy. The only thing that she enjoys is being with us kids and since I am her only daughter, i am her best friend. I take care of her health and keep her involved in other things. My brothers are all in either different countries or cities.

For me, leaving my mother .. more than anything else is the toughest decision amongst all. It had to happen but I never wished that I’d be married out of the country but fate has its own ways. As the days are coming closer, its hovering over my head all the time… how will she spend her time, how will she manage not seeing or talking to me every day, how will she manage her health, who will be there when she is an emotional break down. I so hate the girl-leaving-her-house business.

How did you girls pass through this phase? emotional dramas? mood swings? How often do you meet your parents? How did they manage without you? How do you fix your mind that all will be well and they wouldnt break down? I am their only daughter so its more of a tough situation because of the excessive emotional attachments which are obvious in every thing they do. I am gonna cry now ..

Oh sweety, reading your post made me teary eyed. Days leading up to my wedding day was a emotional train wreck. Its a happy occasion, but also hurts leaving you family behind. I got married 6 months ago and moved across country and it is not as easy as seems. Its hard, and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think or wish my family was closer. My mom is exactly like yours, both of us very emotional people and we were/are very close. We had to stop getting on skype for a while, bcuz we would see each other an start crying. But yes, it will get better, once you get settled in and get busy with your new married life with work and other stuff, it will be a little easier. hugs

[M_was_here]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

Lol, that depends on whether you will be happy because you are leaving your parents :-p

Not happy about leaving parents, more happy because I'm finally starting my life with my fiance!

[saimab33]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

I know it is very hard to leave your parents. After I got married I moved to another country. I am also the only daughter and was really close to my mom. My older brother lives in a different city from my parents, and my younger brother is hardly home. I was the one who was always with my mom, taking her out shopping, to movies, lunches, dinners, and just hanging out. My mom is emotional, but at the same time, she doesnt show it. She hardly cries infront of people, and doesnt express her emotions. At my rukhsati, she cried openly, and told me how much she was going to miss me, and that made me even more emotional, and I cried so much. The whole car ride to my husbands house I cried, and even when we got there I was still crying. Then when I moved away, I didnt cry (we left a week after the wedding). In all the excitement of being married and starting your new life, you dont feel as emotional at that time. But then it hits you again once you settle into your life wherever you are. I miss my parents a lot....everyday! And it is hard. I went to visit them 4 months after the wedding, and stayed for a week, and when I was leaving again, I cried and so did my mom. and that time was really hard for me again.

Now it has been 6 months since the wedding, and I miss my parents alot, but at the same time I have adjusted to my life here, and you eventually accept it (without even realizing that you have accepted it).

Trust me, it is going to be ok. The rukhsati will be hard. The emotions at that time cant be described in words....and you sound like me - a very emotional person! But it gets easier as time goes on, trust me.

[starberry1]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

@M_was_here

Not happy about leaving parents, more happy because I'm finally starting my life with my fiance!

That makes sense :-).

[DaffyDuck]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

@saimab33

I know it is very hard to leave your parents. After I got married I moved to another country. I am also the only daughter and was really close to my mom. My older brother lives in a different city from my parents, and my younger brother is hardly home. I was the one who was always with my mom, taking her out shopping, to movies, lunches, dinners, and just hanging out. My mom is emotional, but at the same time, she doesnt show it. She hardly cries infront of people, and doesnt express her emotions. At my rukhsati, she cried openly, and told me how much she was going to miss me, and that made me even more emotional, and I cried so much. The whole car ride to my husbands house I cried, and even when we got there I was still crying. Then when I moved away, I didnt cry (we left a week after the wedding). In all the excitement of being married and starting your new life, you dont feel as emotional at that time. But then it hits you again once you settle into your life wherever you are. I miss my parents a lot....everyday! And it is hard. I went to visit them 4 months after the wedding, and stayed for a week, and when I was leaving again, I cried and so did my mom. and that time was really hard for me again.

Now it has been 6 months since the wedding, and I miss my parents alot, but at the same time I have adjusted to my life here, and you eventually accept it (without even realizing that you have accepted it).

Trust me, it is going to be ok. The rukhsati will be hard. The emotions at that time cant be described in words....and you sound like me - a very emotional person! But it gets easier as time goes on, trust me.

I feel this is exactly what will be happening with me too. We plan on staying for only a week after the wedding. Its all too daunting no matter how many months you take to make up your mind, it is and will remain a big change & a big part of our lives. Maybe I wouldnt have worried as much if my brothers or bhabis were nearby. Its worrisome since they will be far and my parents specially mum will miss me bad.She is by far the most emotional person I know of. Im the one who kept her life busy and talked to her always. My dad being a book worm never really leaves his books so mama is always with me and we have such a beautiful OUR time all the time. We sure will miss each other a lot and it keeps occurring every day already. May God keep us all happy & patient where ever our lives take us, Insha Allah.

[Nisha25]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

my elder brother always lets my sis in law visit with her parents for an extended amount of time. he understands that she would also miss her family. Oh if only all men were like my bro. He's so sweet to his wife

if desi men love their parents then please see that desi women also love their parents. it's ludicrous to think otherwise.

[DaffyDuck]

Re: Leaving your parents after marriage

Same is the case at my end. My brothers are so sweet & caring towards their wives. Lucky them! Masha Allah