Someone i know had a baby a month ago, and when i invited her and her husband over for dinner this weekend, she said she cant come because she cant leave the house for 40 days cuz of “chila”.
I dont know what chila means- but is this true? I have never heard of this “rule” that you cant leave the house for 40 days. The only fine that applies is if you are in iddat, not a newborn
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
She even gave me the specific date she can go out
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
That’s stupid, my sister had a newborn baby and she was taking him out to my other sister’s house etc all the time. No such thing as that, this might just be a culture or family based custom or tradition.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
There is no such restriction religiously speaking.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
some observe it as they think in the time period both babies and moms life can be at risk! you should respect their decision and dont force it, anyway it takes time to adjust to the new baby and I think sozializing might not be their proiority right now.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
I’ve heard something about chilla but I can’t remember what exactly…although what OP has said about chilla sounds familiar. OP, she has a newborn. For those of us such as yourself and I …that don’t have a baby…we won’t understand what she’s going through. She’s most likely very busy tending to the demands of her child, recovering physically from the birth, and taking care of household responsibilities. She may not feel mentally/physically/emotionally ready to be out and about yet. Even socializing requires energy and sometimes people don’t feel up to it and in this case she has a very valid reason with a baby that young. It’s better to leave her be. If she’s willing, you can try visiting her on her turf…as that might be convenient for her…if she’s comfortable with it. Otherwise, just wait until this period is over…40 days is not too long…just little over a month.
Whether or not the practice is allowed in Islam…I don’t know. While it may not be something you agree with…it is practiced in some families (see links below)…and again, it’s better to leave her be for the duration she has mentioned.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
I’ve only heard about it once before but I think the wisdom behind the practice was both mother and child are at risk from all sorts of infectious diseases and it’s better to keep them away from general public. You can’t look at infant mortality with 1st world country eyes.
Nowadays people wait for the first set of vaccinations to be done before starting socialising. And so many people don’t even want to socialise if they’re exclusively breastfeeding and the baby doesn’t like to sleep. Maybe she was just declining you politely and had no better excuse.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
I’ve heard of this. It’s a cultural practice where it’s felt that the new mum needs time to heal after labour. Back in the villages, she’d be waited on hand and foot and the rest of the family would step in to help. I’ve heard ladies are asked not to leave the house as they’re in a state of ritual impurity and cannot protect themselves (and through them the child) using namaz, etc. therefore are at risk of nazar and/or spiritual possession. Although the elders were insistent on following this, it’s not really practised in our family.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
When I had my babies, both times I was told that for 40 days I wasn’t allowed to do namaz waghaira. Other than that, going out was permitted. I walked my babies everywhere. It’s healthy if you are able to. We had a different name for the 40 days which I can’t remember.
Re: Leaving the house after a baby
You only miss Namaz for the time you’re bleeding .. it can be 40 days for some, or 10 days for others etc …