Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships…
It doesn’t have to start after marriage. Sometimes it’s how engagements break when one person puts undue pressure on the other to significantly change their lifestyle and the other shows resistance.
A friend of mine was engaged to this guy, who was extremely possessive and shaki mizaaj. He would go through her phone (text messages, email accounts, facebook, etc), looking for any conversations with guys. In her facebook, she was tagged in pictures from a graduation trip. He told her to delete any picture where there was a guy in the picture with her (even though they were not standing close to each other and oftentimes it was a group shot) and de-friend any such friends who were so “aazad-khayal” as to allow such pictures for public viewing.
She was close with one guy from her university study group who was like a brother to her. He told her she can’t be friends with him anymore. He also accused some of her male coworkers of trying to flirt with her and implied that she encouraged them with her behaviour/clothing, etc.
Anyhow, the engagement didn’t last long.
*What would I do if that were being asked of me? *
umm I’m not sure. I am a fairly conservative person. I don’t hang out with guys unless it’s a group meet. At the same time, I don’t think talking to guys within limits is a crime. I don’t think my clothing is provocative. And I am definitely not one to go up to a random guy and strike up a conservation. So if my future significant other ever implied such a thing, it would definitely come as a surprise to me.
If his issue is, limiting interaction with guys only, that’s understandable and fine, I can live with that but he better follow those rules for himself too. But if he starts putting restrictions on girls he thinks are too aawara for me to be friends with or coworkers whom I should stop interacting with, I would be uncomfortable with that.