Leave em hanging?

STA · July 25, 2011, 9:21pm

Re: Leave em hanging?

redvelvet:

^The highlighed bit is the problem, Sorrow. Who in their right mind would wait for years? Waiting for days or even weeks (to a point) makes sense. But years? No.

Surely at SOME point…it’s gotta dawn on the girl and her family that the guy and his family are not interested. Some people struggle with wording their rejection…so they hope that their silence or their wishy-washiness will eventually give u the the hint that u should move on as the interest isn’t mutual. I’m not justifying such behavior…but since this does happen… it may be helpful to set a time limit for yourself. Such as “I’m gonna give this 1 week…and if I don’t hear from them…I’m moving on.” Everybody’s “time limit” is different…but at least you’re not allowing yourself to remain in that “hanging” state for eternity.

I can understand that in a situation of cousin rishtas…the rishta thing can drag on for years. But if either one of the parties is against the match…they need to make it clear to both families and the person in question much earlier on …rather than let it drag on.

If it’s a situation where you’re in a relationship with someone…things can also drag on for years…for various reasons (some may reasonable). But you have consider your own time line, possible compromises, and other factors into the decision. You don’t have to remain hanging.

However in the case of rishtas…where both parties don’t really know one another…and it’s through a matchmaker or via a family friend or whatever…waiting for that length of time is absurd. I think in some cases (such as cousin rishtas or where one is alread in a relaitonsihp) a guy might wait for years in a state of uncertainty…but I don’t think it happens that often as guys and their families do sort of have the upper hand in our society. And why does it matter if the guys go through the same? In the end you have to do what is best for YOU. You can’t always wait for/or depend on others to give you closure or set things aright in your life. So, set a time limit for yourself regarding these rishta searches. When it’s mean to be, it will happen.

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Krypton · July 25, 2011, 9:47pm

Re: Leave em hanging?

haha. leave em hanging on a hangerrr