English is a crazy language …> >> >>> >>>
Tere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a> hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn’t
your dog. English muffins were not invented in England nor French
fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while> sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are>
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we> find that
quicksand can> be very slow in killing you, and boxing rings are> square, And a guinea
pig is neither from New Guinea nor is it a pig. And> why is it that writers write,but> >>
fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and> hammers don’t ham?>
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why> isn’t the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2> meese? Is cheese the> >>plural> >>
of choose?>
One mouse, 2 mice.>
One louse, 2 lice.>
One house, 2 hice !!!
If teachers taught, why
didn’t> preachers praught?
If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian> eat? (Humans !!!)
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a> recital? Ship by truck or
car and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run> and feet that smell?> >>
Park on driveways and drive on>
parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man> and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as
Hell one day and cold as Hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form> by filling it out and
an alarm clock goes off by going> on. You get in and> out> >>of
a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the> stars are
out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
are> invisible. And why,> when I wind up my watch,
I start it, but when I wind up> this essay, I end it?
Englishis a silly language … it doesn’t know> if it is
coming or> going> >>!!
So let’s speaking good English
