Re: Leader or follower?
Mamaof3,
Your middle one sounds like an adorable sweetheart. With all that's going around in the world, you can never have too many model-citizens. In life, you need to have leaders and followers, otherwise there would be chaos. Even in group projects at school and in the workplace, you will immediately recognize the leaders and the followers. And it is necessary to have both in a group, otherwise little would be accomplished.
But I understand your concern. You want your son to be a leader when it comes in standing up for what is right and wrong. And it's good for an indiviudal to have leadership qualities as well as the ability to compromise (for the right reasons, of course).
First of all, if the boys he's hanging out with are known to be troublemakers, then I think it's best to discourage your son from hanging out with them and direct him toward more positive company. Cuz some stubborn kids are going to create mischief regardless of how many times they are warned by the more sensible ones among their peers.....and they can be manipulative enough to turn other kids against the one who is on the right track, thus creating peer pressure.
You say that your son does what is right. So praise him regarding his positive behaviors. Sometimes you need to praise with kids as a witness. In the classroom, teachers are encouraged to openly praise kids who are on task......as that can make the other kids wake up and get on the same page. If done gently, it's more tactful than comparing children. And the kid being praised develops leadership in doing what is right because he has been recognized by the authority as an example or role model. Praising his behavior openly will build his self-confidence among his peers as he knows that his positive behavior was recognized and valued by an adult within an audience of children (could even be siblings). And it can motivate the other kids to follow.