Cigar Box:
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.”
“It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.
“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?”
“Oh no! Never ! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.”
Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.
As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!”
“I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them.”
“But, I did send them.”
“What? You did?” said the lawyer, incredulously.
“Yes. That’s how we won the case.”
“I don’t understand,” said the lawyer.
“It’s easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card.”
Re: Lawyer Jokes-
Another genie in the bottle joke
One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle.Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared."For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie.The man was ecstatic."But there`s a catch," the Genie continued."Whatcatch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.
The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."
"Hey, I can live with that!No problem!" replied the elated man."What is your first wish?" asked the Genie."Well, I`ve always wanted a Ferrari!"POOF!A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," said the Genie."What is your next wish?""I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every lawyer in theworld is TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man. "Well,thats okay, as long as Ive got MY million," replied the man. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I`ve always wanted to donate a kidney...."