How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water!
Good Lawyers?
What is the difference between a good Lawyer and a great Lawyer?
Answer: A good Lawyer knows the law and a great Lawyer knows the Judge!!!
Out of a tree
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
layer joke
so there was this engineer who died and went to hell. when he got there, he was shocked at all the darkness and intense heat from the burning fire, and all the inhabitable conditions. 
so he put his mind to work, and began the task of transforming Hell. first he created air conditioners and introduced electricity… and slowly Hell began to look like not such a bad place..
Seeing all this, God called Satan and asked him to send the engineer dude to Heaven. Satan staunchly refused. So God threatened, “I’m gonna sue you!” To which Satan replied,
“Oh yeah? And where are you gonna get a lawyer?”
Good one