Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Assoc.Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials &, in certain cases the responses given by insightful witnesses.
“Now doctor,isn’t it true that when a person dies in his,sleep he doesnt know about it until the next morning?”
“Were you present when your picture was taken?”
“The youngest son,the twenty-year-old one,how old is he?”
“Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”
“Did he kill you”
“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?”
“You were there until the time you left,is that true?”
“How many times have you committed suicide?”
Q:“She had three children,right?”
A:“Yes.”
Q:“How many were boys?”
A:“None.”
Q:“Were there any girls?”
Q:“You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
A:“Yes.”
Q:"And these stairs,did they go up also?
Q:“How was your first marriage terminated?”
A:“By death.”
Q:“And by who’s death was it terminated?”
Q:“Can you describe the individual?”
A:“He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Q:“Was this a male or a female?”
Q:“Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent your attorney?”
A:“No,this is how I dress when I go to work.”
Q:“Doctor,how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
A:“All of my autopsies are performed on dead people.”
Q:“All your responses must be oral,ok?What school did you go to?”
A:“Oral.”
Q:“Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”
A:“The autopsy started around 3:30 pm.”
Q:“And Mr.Dennington was dead at the time?”
A:“No,he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing the autopsy!”
Q:“Doctor,before you performed the autopsy,did u check for a pulse?”
A:“No.”
Q:“Did u check for blood pressure?”
A:“No.”
Q:“Did you check for breathing?”
A:“No.”
Q:“Then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
A:“No.”
Q:“How can you be sure,doctor?”
A:“Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
Q:“But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
A:"It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere