Lawyer Joke

Hangout Humor (Rated G)
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A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?

They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn’t REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?”

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, “about 1,500.” “That’s right! You may enter.”

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer and said

“Name them.” :slight_smile:

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Re: Lawyer Joke

:omg:

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:D

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Re: Lawyer Joke

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but I said instead 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."

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Re: Lawyer Joke

One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle.

Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared."For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie.

The man was ecstatic."But there`s a catch," the Genie continued.

"What ‘s the catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.

The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for.""Hey, I can live with that!No problem!" replied the elated man.

"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie."Well, I`ve always wanted a Ferrari!

"POOF!A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," said the Genie."What is your next wish?"

"I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

"Now, every lawyer in theworld is TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man.

"Well,thats okay, as long as Ive got MY million," replied the man.

"And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.

The man thought long andhard, and finally said,

"Well, you know, I`ve always wanted to donate a kidney...."

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good one

~~~Missing Someone~~~
~~~Missing Someone~~~
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Re: Lawyer Joke

I don’t like any of these lawyer jokes. Don’t make fun of us :snooty:

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right :teary2:

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Sorry!..Not!!:stuck_out_tongue:

You can pretend its for the lawyer who is on the ‘other’ side!:smiley:

Bait Bazi - February
10

This one you might like Mama Ki Dua!!:)

I have some very sarcastic in my collection and will not submit..Is that OK?

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, goes to a butcher shop and steals a roast.

Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks,

"If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"

The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."

"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50 (attorneys don't carry cash).

Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.